New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 74
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 731 - 740 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 24,
2008
Tags strategic alternatives, company for sale, new corporate overlords, employment vandalism
Transcript
The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"
Saturday May 03,
2008
Tags new guy, project team, foul stench, stink of failure, follows man
Transcript
Man says, "You must be Dilbert. I'm the new guy on your project team." Dilbert says, "What's that foul stench?" Man says, "It's the stink of failure. It follows me around from project to project." Dilbert says, "How do I get if off?!!" Man says, "You can dilute it by shaking hands."
Sunday May 11,
2008
Tags file emailed, viewer application, upgrade, operating system, new one, corrupted files
Transcript
"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."
Saturday May 24,
2008
Tags churn butter, needs, next budget cycle, not in budget, broken computer
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My computer is broken. I need a new one." The Boss says, "We don't have the budget." The Boss says, "Do things that don't require a computer until the next budget cycle." Dilbert says, "Like churning my own butter?" The Boss says, "You make it sound creepy."
Saturday July 19,
2008
Tags new job, miserable and helpless, Women, attracted to men, salary ranges, trophy wives, carnival skanks
Transcript
Dilbert's moral compass is damaged. Dilbert says, "My new job is to make employees feel miserable and helpless." Dilbert says, "Here's a chart that shows the sort of women that are attracted to men at various salary ranges." Dilbert says, "Trophy wives are at the top, obviously, and down in your range we have the carnival skanks."
Monday July 21,
2008
Tags moral compass, healed, position of power, narrow gap, executive pay, worker pay
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."
Saturday August 02,
2008
Tags new cubilces, boss, coworkers, picked one, anything changed
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I've been away from work so long, I wonder if anything has changed." The Boss says, "You weren't here when we moved to new cubicles so your coworkers picked one for you."
Saturday September 06,
2008
Tags evil director, human resources, mandatory stretch, employee welness, good and flexible, new place, tuck your head, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "We're instituting a mandatory stretch period every day." Asok says, "This is surprising because human resources usually doesn't care about employee wellness." Catbert says, "Phase one is just to get you good and flexible. Phase two involves a new place to tuck your head."
Tuesday September 09,
2008
Tags fortune, personally negotiating, contract, new era system, several components, software, hardware, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "I saved a fortune by personally negotiating the contract for our new ERP system." Dilbert says, "You bought outdated hardware and forgot several components that are required." Dilbert says, "And I like software with my hardware, but that's just me."
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags worked around clock, ten programmers, establish new baseline, tragic death march, stretch golas, stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"


