Rich People Comic Strips - Page 74

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags senior engineer, lead engineer, pay is same, disrespect you, magic

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The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punching people, high rates, ridiculous combpver, punch face in, regain element, surprise, therapy session, couch, expressing

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Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert for president, terrorits, skull, salad bowls, steal money, vote, pollution has viatamins, lies, fabrications, intimidations, Politics

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Dogbert for President "Vote for me or the terrorists will use your skulls for salad bowls." "I promise to take money from the people who don't vote for me and give it to the people who do." "Pollution has vitamins!" "I like how he makes me feel."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags set up meeting, review board, new technologies, decide, answer question

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The boss: "Carol, set up a meeting with the technology review board to decide how we'll decide on new technologies." Carol: "Do you also need a meeting to decide how you will put together a meeting to decide how to decide things?" "Maybe I should get some people together to help you answer that question." The Boss: "Maybe."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new circuit design, worse, everyone says so, not familiar, spoke with people, rumprs, innuendo, made up staory

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The Boss: "Everyone says your new circuit design is worse than the old one." Dilbert: "By 'everyone', do you mean you heard it from one person who doesn't like me, and isn't familiar with either design?" The Boss: "I also spoke to the people who heard it from that one person."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags security card, appreciate, front pocket, thrust at door sensor, door opener

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CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drunken lemurs, have talent, busy, fixing problems

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Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marginally useful things, ageeing, say it a certain way, tone, beat up, ripped shirt, anger, repesct, high strung, co worker

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Alice: "You should check with Ted to see if he knows about this sort of thing." Dilbert: "I'll add that to my list of marginally useful things that other people have suggested I do." Dilbert: "Apparently, agreeing isn't enough. You also need to say it a certain way."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family freindly, policices, lost prodcutivity, openly hotsile, single people, not fair, impatience, contradictory remarks, hypcrisy, blatant prejudice

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Catbert: "We've decided to be more family friendly in our policies." "To compensate for the lost productivity, we'll be openly hostile to single people." Dilbert: "That doesn't seem fair." Catbert: "Shut up and get back to work, eunuch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags not enough recources, project, look lame, fixed capacity, dedicated higher priorities, donated blood, hurricane victims

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The boss: "Never tell anyone we don't have enough resources to do a project. It makes us look lame." "Instead, say we have a fixed capacity that is already dedicated to higher priorities. That makes whoever asked us for help look lame." Wally: "Can I keep telling people I donated all of my blood to hurricane victims?"