Business People Comic Strips - Page 74
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1000 Results for Business People
View 731 - 740 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 08,
2018
Tags criticism, suggestion, listening, conclusions, misunderstanding
Transcript
Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.
Wednesday July 04,
2018
Reducing Headcount By Attrition
Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety
Transcript
CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.
Wednesday June 27,
2018
Ai For Productivity
Tags meetings, meeting, productivity, obliviousness, business
Transcript
Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.
Tuesday June 19,
2018
Negotiating Expert
Tags consultant, negotiation, training, irony, obliviousness, business
Transcript
Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.
Monday June 18,
2018
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday
Tags negotiation, irony, appointment, deadline, consultant, training, business
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.
Saturday June 16,
2018
Reincarnation Advice
Tags Advice, motivation, reincarnation, death, fussiness, medical
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert's Life Advice. Dogbert: I've reviewed your file. Your best bet is to live an unhealthy lifestyle, die young, and hope reincarnation is real. Man: Is it real? Dogbert: All I know for sure is that dead people are less fuss than you.
Tuesday June 12,
2018
Asking Successful People For Advice
Tags success, Advice, ambition
Transcript
Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?
Monday June 11,
2018
Wally Teaches Success
Saturday June 02,
2018
Monster Puts People In Boxes
Thursday May 31,
2018
Employees Who Don't Want Money
Tags motivation, money, optimism, ambition
Transcript
Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?


