Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 74

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

795 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 731 - 740 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #worse, #been, #born, #wait, #turn, #computer, #every, #night, #electricity, #meaning, #life, #today, #bedroom, #light, #day

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Would the world be any worse off if I'd never been born?" Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . If not for me, who would turn off this computer every night. I'm saving electricity!" Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I found meaning in my life today." Dogbert says, "You left your bedroom light on all day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #luck, #lemons, #lemonade, #citrus, #allergic, #swell, #die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I have no luck." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.'" Dilbert replies, "I'm allergic to citrus." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, swell up and die.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #fish, #with, #legs, #life, #form, #work, #hard, #part, #mate, #Kids, #mutants, #arm, #dangerfield

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks in the park. A fish with legs comes walking down the path. The fish says, "Howdy!" Dogbert says, "I've never seen a fish with legs." The fish explains, "I'm evolving into a higher life form." Dogbert says, "That sounds like a lot of work." The fish says, "Yeah . . . The hard part is finding a mate who isn't turned off by legs." The fish continues, "With any luck, the kids will be mutants too." The fish continues, "I'm hoping they'll have arms but not look too much like Rodney Dangerfield." The fish stands at the edge of a pond. He tells a female fish, "These legs are a natural advantage!" The female says, "Oh, that's original."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #naked, #news, #lucas, #ranch, #dan, #life-like, #special, #effects

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Seriously, how do we know the news isn't all faked??" Dilbert says, "Geez, Dogbert, get over it. Why don't you just call George Lucas and ask him if he's doing the whole thing with special effects?" At the Lucas Ranch, a man holding a mannequin says to George Lucas, "We built a new Dan Rather, but it still doesn't look lifelike." A man sitting at a table plays with a Space Shuttle on a string.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mystery, #movie, #surprised, #ending, #life, #tootsie, #hundred, #times, #strangers, #clearly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in line at a video store. The man in front of him hands a video tape to the sales clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk asks, "Why would anybody BUY a mystery movie?!" The clerk asks, "What do you do, watch it a hundred times and act surprised at the ending?" She hands the video back to the customer and says, "Get a life." Dilbert hands his selection to the clerk and says, "I'll take this one." The clerk says, "Tootsie?! You want to OWN a movie about a man who wears dresses?!" Dilbert says, "What?! I thought it was a documentary about Tootsie Rolls. You should label those things more clearly!" Dilbert sits in his chair holding a copy of Rambo. He asks Dogbert, "Is it a sin to lie to strangers?" Dogbert replies, "The way you do it, yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #baby, #pregnancy, #maternity leave, #xerox, #machine, #copies, #deliver, #worker's rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Alice, who is pregnant, "When's the baby due?" Alice replies, "Any minute now." Alice continues, "This company has no maternity leave policy, so I'm going to deliver by the Xerox machine and keep working." Dilbert says to a man, "That doesn't seem fair." The man replies, "Yeah, especially if you need to make copies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #palm, #reading, #psychic, #short, #pencil, #grease, #intelligence, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a table with a woman who looks at his hand and says, "Your life line is very short." The sign behind them says, "Palm Reading $20." The woman writes on Dilbert's hand and says, "I can get you a few more years by extending the line with this grease pencil." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Someday I should go back and have her lengthen my intelligence line too." Dogbert replies, "I'd hurry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #consulting, #job, #questioning, #employees, #underpaid, #problems, #fault, #lard, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #karate, #real, #life, #male, #daydream, #sequence, #tought, #nobody, #else

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit in the chair watching tv. On the television program, there is a whack and someone grunts. Dogbert says, "On television you can knock a person out with one karate chop." Dogbert continues, "Just think how useful that could be in real life." The caption says, "Male daydream sequence." Dilbert stands in a line thinking, "This movie line is too long." Dogbert karate chops the man in front of him. Dogbert knocks down the next man in line. The first person in line screams as Dogbert knocks him down. Dogbert stands at the ticket booth. He thinks, "I'm glad nobody else thought of that first."