Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 74

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation project, lie, no phone service, new jobs, look for new jobs, not going well

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"The office relocation project is proceeding without any problems whatsoever." "GAAA!!! IT'S A LIE!!! OUR POSSESSIONS WILL BE LOST AND WE WILL HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE!!!" "I don't mean to worry anyone, but you should look for new jobs right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office relocation, studied boss, learned methods, corner you, scream about bright light

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"I am in charge of the office relocation project, also known as O.R.P." "I have never managed anything, but I have studied our boss to learn his methods." "Let's see.. step one, I corner you. Step two, I talk until you scream about seeing a bright light."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags downsized, gag gifts, goodby lunch, not retired, tuesday, party, gifts, mean soirited, office party

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CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags global economy, vibrant, fly bait, reformatted, disguise true objective

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Dilbert: "It's workers like me that make the global economy so vibrant." Carol: "The pointy-haired fly-bait wants this reformatted to disguise his true objective." Carol: "When you're done, don't show it anyone. No one cares." Dilbert: "Zesty!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss stalker, wait, offcie, unscheduled, suck up, phone calls end, still out there

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Man: "We'll be seeing a lot of each other. I'm a stalker." "I wait by his office, unscheduled, ready to suck up to his whenever his phone calls end." The Boss: "Please don't go.. it's still out there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags too busy, bottleneck, document, desk, office

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"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags level conscious, vide presidents offcie, secretary, make direct eye contact, meeting, boss, new hire, business

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"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hapy, spacious offcie, ocean view, workplace, personalized environemnt, brad pitt

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"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" Dilbert: "I'm so happy in my new spacious office with an ocean view." "Finally I have the workplace I've always dreamed of." Wally: "The personalized environment headset works, sir." The boss: "Brad Pitt! Shouldn't you put a shirt on?" ANSER: GO TO DILBERT.COM

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new hire, guy, bothering workers, love golf, rain tomorrow, plans, sad paper body, roll in salt, scoring system

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Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags keeper of giant binder, secret technology, never leave office, no drawer, no desk, use as tiny bed, rest of days, trade show binder

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Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"