Work Ethic Comic Strips - Page 74
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1000 Results for Work Ethic
View 731 - 740 results for work ethic comic strips. Discover the best "Work Ethic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 28,
2012
Tags absent mindedness, machinery, build robots, wait a week, forgets
Transcript
CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.
Friday January 06,
2012
Tags best decison, conference room, listed reasons, review, thinking, vendor, work, writing
Transcript
Man: Why are you picking this vendor? Dilbert: I listed the four reasons. Individually, each reason would not be compelling. But viewed as a whole, this is the best decision. This first reason is weak. Dilbert: And here we go.
Sunday January 01,
2012
Tags big business, business ethics, executive program, relocate, vindictive, stress, loser, turn down opportunity, train, discomfort, underlings
Transcript
Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.
Sunday December 25,
2011
Tags christmas presents, embarrassment, merry christmas, network design meeting, brand of makeup, hid, loobby, elevator, closet for months, creepiness
Transcript
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.
Wednesday December 21,
2011
Tags business ethics, wealth, ceo, good job, 50 million dollar bonus, not motivated, bad genes, inequality, dosaprity, ceo and worker, unfair wages, crazy money, slave wages, more work, no rewards, money
Transcript
Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.
Monday December 19,
2011
Tags big business, inventions, google, develop ideas, 60 hours, per week, math, education
Transcript
Man: At Google, we're encouraged to spend 20% of our time developing our own ideas. Dilbert: How many hours per week do you work? Man: About sixty. Wally: It sounds better when you don't do the math.
Sunday December 04,
2011
Tags car pool, saving planet, steal time, theif, hitch a ride, hero, ride in trunk, pretend, sneaky, leave work
Transcript
Russell: Gotta go. Carpool. Boss: Okay. See you tomorrow. Wally: I have to go too. Boss: Whoa! Sit back down. Wally: Why does the carpooler get to leave early? Boss: Carpoolers are like heroes that are saving the entire planet. You're more like a thief who is trying to steal time from the company. Wally: What if I hitch a ride home in the carpooler's trunk? That would make me a hero too. Boss: That sort of makes sense. Russell: I only pretend to have a carpool, but you're welcome to ride in my trunk. Wally: Deal!
Thursday November 24,
2011
Tags commerce, service business, unmotivated sales guy, slides are blank, compelling reason, no commission work, budget issues
Transcript
Unmotivated sales guy Man: My slides are blank because no one told me what our product does. And I don't have a compelling reason to find out because I don't work on commission. If anyone asks why you didn't place an order, would you mind saying you have budget issues?
Wednesday November 16,
2011
Tags different, employees, goals, work little, year ahead, your goals, my goals, business
Transcript
Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.
Monday November 14,
2011
Tags biology, chemistry, practical jokers, biotech field, giving free flu shots, stem cells, science
Transcript
Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.


