Accept The Things Can't Change Comic Strips - Page 74

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

747 Results for Accept The Things Can't Change

View 731 - 740 results for accept the things can't change comic strips. Discover the best "Accept The Things Can't Change" comics from Dilbert.com.

Try Hiding

Thank you for voting.
Try Hiding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boss, #compliment, #criticism, #ego, #employees, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: If you compliment your employees, they will get big heads and think they are underpaid. But if you criticize them, they will be unhappy and quit. Boss: What should I do instead of those things? Dogbert: Have you tried hiding?

Others Have Failed

Thank you for voting.
Others Have Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #idea, #technology, #rodent, #insult, #cheese, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese

Saying You Are Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Knowing What Wally Does

Thank you for voting.
Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

Thank you for voting.
Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

Thank you for voting.
Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #data, #analyze

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

What Good Is Money

Thank you for voting.
What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Slide Deck Too Well Designed

Thank you for voting.
Slide Deck Too Well Designed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #tasks, #well-designed

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: your slide deck is too well-designed. it suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important. asok: you don't give me important tasks. boss: that's no excuse for good design.

Alice And Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.