Business Comic Strips - Page 74
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1000 Results for Business
View 731 - 740 results for business comic strips. Discover the best "Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 27,
2010
Thursday April 29,
2010
Tags meeting, project, length, add people, months, useless, sit down, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."
Tuesday May 04,
2010
Tags meeting, technology service, hospice, bazooka, hold gun, intimidate, compassion, surprise, scared, computer, windows xp, technology, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"
Friday May 07,
2010
Tags evil director of human resources, payroll expenses low, bad reviews, employees, defects, list, faults, alphabetical, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Monday May 10,
2010
Tags meeting, email, laptop, boring, time suck hole, yell, thorough, play music, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"
Wednesday May 12,
2010
Tags reprimand, sign-off, marketing, paper, vivid memory, unicorns, false, conversation, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"
Saturday May 22,
2010
Tags meeting, honest feedback, strategy, lie, misperception, hate people, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."
Friday May 28,
2010
Tags tired, exhausted, research, lie, avoid work, lab report, meeting, write down, science, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So? the new rule is that we write down stuff?"
Wednesday June 02,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, slide show, names, trademarked, hand motion, crotch area, wide eyes, shocked, gross, point, war criminals, nicknames, partnerless loving, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Wednesday June 09,
2010
Tags meeting, technical jargon, lame, condescending, integration layer, insult, head, business
Transcript
Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

