Move Project Comic Strips - Page 74

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802 Results for Move Project

View 731 - 740 results for move project comic strips. Discover the best "Move Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

Be Creative With Funding

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Be Creative With Funding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #creativity, #funding, #money, #progress, #trick

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Dilbert: I couldn't do any work this week because you forgot to ask for funding for my project. Boss: Stop making excuses. Be creative. Ted: Why do you want to know my project charge code? Dilbert: Just curious.

Ted Complains About Dilbert

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Ted Complains About Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #money, #funding, #creativity, #embezzlement, #fraud

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Boss: Ted is complaining that you charged your expenses to his project. Dilbert: You told me to be creative because you forgot to fund my project. Boss: I wasn't expecting you to do that. Dilbert: That's what makes it creative. I looked it up.

Scavenging For Parts

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Scavenging For Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #strategy, #parts, #scavenging, #money, #usury, #budget, #relationships

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Dilbert: My boss forgot to fund my project so I've been scavenging for parts. Robot: You usually don't make conversation with me. I guess this means we're friends now. People.

Dilbert Tries To Get Funding

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Dilbert Tries To Get Funding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #money, #spending, #projects, #upgrades, #technology, #software, #engineering

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Man: Who are you? Dilbert: I'm an engineer on an unfunded project. I'm attending random meetings to see if I can shake loose some spare budget money. Man: We'll be talking about the mandatory software upgrade. Dilbert: Sounds like a huge waste of money.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

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Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collusion, #trump, #russia, #rumor, #conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move

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Asok Is In Charge Of Cubicle Move - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #popularity, #power

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Boss: Asok, I"m putting you in charge of deciding who gets which cubicle after the office redesign. Asok: But... everyone will hate me for deciding who gets the best cubicles. Boss: Try to see it as an upgrade to your current situation of no one caring about you. Asok: That helps a little.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

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Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

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Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #leadership, #power, #influence

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Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses, #motivation, #projects

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Boss: I need you to add a feature to the software. Wally: That would be outside the scope of the project. Boss: Yes, but I'm your boss and I'm telling you to do it. Wally: You also told me to only do the things that are documented on the project specs. Boss: Okay, just change the documentation and then do it. Wally: If I do that, the project will be late and over budget. Boss: How many excuses do you have for not doing work? Wally: I'm just getting started. This feature will never work with the others.