Really Working Comic Strips - Page 74

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

747 Results for Really Working

View 731 - 740 results for really working comic strips. Discover the best "Really Working" comics from Dilbert.com.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

Wally Hates His App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

View Transcript

Transcript

wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.

Climate Change And Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Climate Change And Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #late, #attendance, #alarm, #power, #phone, #coal power plant, #climate change

View Transcript

Transcript

wally to boss and dilbert: sorry i'm late. my alarm didn't go off because my town lost power and my phone battery died. and we lost power because the state closed down the lost coal power plant to reduce co2 emissions. so really, the fault lies with climate change, not me. dilbert: (slow clap)

5 G Is 4 G

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
5 G Is 4 G - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #wireless, #service, #5g, #4g, #complain, #impossible, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today. dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology. boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G. dilbert: people will complain. boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.

Lazy People Are Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Tricking Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tricking Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #reward, #business, #performance, #punish, #good, #bad, #work, #tricking, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?

Simulation Nonsense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Simulation Nonsense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #computer, #computer software, #days, #fast, #nonsense, #ruin, #simulation, #technology, #upgrade, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.

Worst Place To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barrel, #best, #business, #dead, #employees, #employment, #place, #publication, #squirrels, #technology, #trade, #work, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

Loud Using Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #mortgage, #loud, #noise, #calls, #war, #blackmail, #surprise, #laptop, #imagine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Deep Fake Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Deep Fake Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video conference, #zoom, #call, #deep fake, #program, #generic, #employee, #work, #sarcasm, #cell phone, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!