Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 74
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1000 Results for Retail Business
View 731 - 740 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 16,
2010
Tags meeting, coworker, software, product, sitting, technical issue, understand, terms, comprehension level, human, squirrel, anvil, awkward, community college, business, engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday March 18,
2010
Tags meeting, poltergeist, copy machine, promote, server, union, scary, creepy, original, nervous, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."
Wednesday March 24,
2010
Tags leg, rope, attached, crony, ceo, job, new boss, qualified, monkey, hammer, hold, suspicious, business, animals
Transcript
CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"
Thursday March 25,
2010
Tags new vice president of engineering, meeting, introduce, full body, face front, pointy hair, lack of experience, exotic, over selling, mustache, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."
Monday March 29,
2010
Tags meeting, work, lazy, update software, computer, reboot, endless cycle, drink coffee, optimism, past, waste time, technology, business
Transcript
Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."
Tuesday March 30,
2010
Tags human resources, evil director, employee, morale, high, happy, overpaid, nature, yell, clouds, unhappy, hands clasped, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."
Wednesday March 31,
2010
Tags human resources, evil director, meeting, leadership, empty promises, imaginary, work, weekend, promoted, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."
Wednesday April 07,
2010
Tags meeting, servers crash, verify, accomplishment, awesome, back of head, business
Transcript
Wally says, "Our servers were about to crash, so I wrote a suite of scripts to keep them running." The Boss says, "Your accomplishments are suspiciously hard to verify." Wally says, "So, recapping what we know for sure, you're an inadequate verifier, and you can't rule out the possibility that I'm awesome."
Thursday April 08,
2010
Tags pinocchio, nose grows, long nose, doctor, exam, stethoscope, lies, powerpoint, proboscis, nose through head, pain, medical
Transcript
Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."
Saturday April 17,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, fall asleep, dream, animal snout, nose job, reality, tease, mouth open, scared, wiggle fingers, annoyed, business
Transcript
Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"


