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View 731 - 735 results for turn-down comic strips. Discover the best "Turn Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Can't Hear You

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I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, engineer, sales, dumb, hear, inaudible, meeting, long

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Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Ruined The Stock Price

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Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work

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boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

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Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appearance, dating, love & dating, walking, outdoors, dating app, woman, app, reproduction, inner qualities, goodbye, genes

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dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Video Lunch Meeting Rules

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Video Lunch Meeting Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, zoom lunch meeting, zoom, lunch, beaver, dam, bubblewrap, ugly, eater, video, off, on, sarcasm, microphone

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alice: welcome to our first zoom lunch meeting. if you chew louder than a beaver making a dam out of bubble wrap, please turn off your microphone. and if you are an ugly eater... voice from laptop: we get it. turn the video off.

Casual Day For Remote Workers

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Casual Day For Remote Workers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, announcement, casual day, remote workers, dress, roadkill, morale, coffee, laptop, video conference

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boss talking toward laptop: tomorrow is casual day for remote workers. most of you already dress like roadkill, but see if you can take it down another level. voice from laptop: why are you doing this to us? boss: i hear it builds morale.