Bargaining Table Comic Strips - Page 75

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771 Results for Bargaining Table

View 741 - 750 results for bargaining table comic strips. Discover the best "Bargaining Table" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, fired, programming code, undocumented, passwords, death spiral, huge raise

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Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, ignorance (knowledge), table tennis, ping pong table, central area, disrupt floor, questioning motivation

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CEO: Let's get a ping-pong table so we look like a great place to work. Put it in a central area that will disrupt the entire floor if anyone uses it. I just realized that I don't know why noise comes out of my mouth.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags civil disobedience, elbonian embassy, card table, asylum, embacile, clever

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Dilbert; I'm looking for the Elbonian embassy. Elbonian: You found it. It's just me and this card table. If you need asylum, pull up a chair. Dilbert: Has anyone ever called you and "embacile?" Elbonian: That's clever. I like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, deception, trolls, annual budget, mystery, meeting, monsters, office, conference table, horns, business

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Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags etiquette & ethics, napkin, hankerchief, dinner manners, crone teaches, table manners

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Etiquette Training Crone: The napkin goes in your lap. HONK It's not a handkerchief. Dilbert: It sort of is. Alice: HONK

Working Sixty Hours A Week

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Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity

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Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

Pregnant Fly

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Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, accident, osha, hazard, work environment

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Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

Dilbert In Wrong Meeting

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Dilbert In Wrong Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags awkward, meeting, embarrassed, embarrassment, business

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Dilbert: I just realized I'm in the wrong meeting. My best bet is to slowly sink below the table and slip away. Someday, when my grandkids ask what I did for a living, I'm going to say I was unemployed.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chair, conversation, meeting, robot, sue, table, business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wages, cost of living, raise, money, rent, apartment, roommate, space

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Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.