Technology Comic Strips - Page 75
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803 Results for Technology
View 741 - 750 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday February 06,
2021
The Boss Has An Idea
Tags business, technology, managment, worldwide, obvious, implement, smart, people, remote, work, idea
Transcript
boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday February 08,
2021
Fraud Presenter
Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won
Transcript
co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.
Friday February 12,
2021
Gaming The System
Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project
Transcript
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
Sunday February 14,
2021
Industry Trends
Tags business, technology, industry, trend, luck, act, fast, change, increase, profits, advantage, future, bogus, training, program, company
Transcript
in board room. boss: industry trends just turned our way by total luck. we have to act fast! i need to implement some kind of change so it looks as if i caused the increase in profits that will happen anyway. does anyone have any ideas? dilbert: no, because we're already perfectly situated to take advantage of the trend. boss upset: that doesn't help me! i can't take credit for our future profits unless i do something i can say made a difference. dilbert: maybe you could implement some sort of bogus company culture training program. one week later. dogbert presenting on a stage: it's important to realize you're all idiots.
Monday February 15,
2021
Internal Audit
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, audit, accounting, internal, shoo, great, job
Transcript
auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?
Thursday February 18,
2021
Dogbert Gets Greenland
Tags stock market, business, technology, stock, greenland, sale, mercenary, army, apple, bitcoin
Transcript
dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.
Tuesday February 23,
2021
Simulation Nonsense
Tags business, computer, computer software, days, fast, nonsense, ruin, simulation, technology, upgrade, coffee
Transcript
tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.
Wednesday February 24,
2021
You Make Luck
Tags business, technology, luck, wisdom, rewiring, super, employee, double, workload, brain, rewire, monster
Transcript
boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!
Thursday February 25,
2021
Worst Place To Work
Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm
Transcript
boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.
Sunday February 28,
2021
Destroy The Competition
Tags business, technology, destroy, competition, approve, violence, figure of speech, engineers, literal, competitors, beat, sticks, sarcasm, incite, figurative, speech
Transcript
boss: we need to destroy our competition! dilbert: i don't approve of violence. boss: i didn't say anything about violence. dilbert: you said "destroy" them. i don't see how that could mean anything else. boss: it was just a figure of speech. dilbert waving arms: we're engineers! you can't use figurative speech with us. we take things literally. so, what exactly is it you want us to do with our competitors? boss: beat them! dilbert: with sticks?

