Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 75

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clutter meleon, printed debris, nest, predator, power to disguise

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Headline: The Cluttermeleon Lines His Nest with Printed Debris. An employee is carrying a large stack of papers nto a cubicle already filled with stacks of paper. Headline: A Predator Comes Out of His Lair. The Boss pokes his head out of his office. Headline: The Quick-Thinking Cluttermeleon Uses His Power of Disguise. The Boss looks into the messy cubicle. The employee is hidden underneath an extra high stack of paper.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags performance review, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, trash talking, lunch, objectives, glowing email, 7 stages, psychology

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Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags switch to decaf, secretly, office, employees sleeping, sleep on job

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Carol is sitting on a doctor's examination table. The doctor says, "Switch to decaf for a while. That should help." Back at the office, Alice holds bag of coffee in her hands and thinks, "I'll replace all the office coffee with decaf for my convenience." In the hallway, The Boss, Alice, and Dilbert are all asleep on the floor. Wally is slumped down; he thinks, "Must...find... antidote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clammy offcie, all clammy, hands are clammy, underpants

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The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags revenue projections, email, reading email, song, multi task, stupid nbinder, slow down, comprehend, reading goes quickly

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Alice enters Bob's office and asks, "Bob, can I have your revenue projections?" Bob replies, "No. I'm reading my e-mail. I can't do two things at once." Bob turns and says, "But I offer you this song instead." Bob dances and sings, "Ooh-waa-waa! I'm single-task Bob. I'm single-task Bob." Bob continues dancing and singing, "I can't multitask. I can only do one job." Alice yells, "Just give me the stupid binder that on your desk!!" Bob sits back down with his arms on his hips and says, "Sure. And I guess my e- mail can just read itself, right?" Once Alice leaves, Bob says to himself, "Reading goes quickly when you don't slow down to comprehend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, giant magnifying glass, death ray, too warm, head too warm

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Catbert says to Alice, "Alice, I understand you've been using a giant magnifying glass as a death ray in the office." Alice responds, "It's not a death ray, I use it only to burn off toupees." Catbert replies, "Oh.. that's okay." A co-worker asks Dilbert, "Is your head too warm? My toupee is too warm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hostile work environment, continuous pressure, work, work and drink, forty cups, cutting back

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Wally enters The Boss' office and says, "You're creating a hostile work environment." Wally continues, "It's like there's continuous pressure to work." Wally shakes and exclaims, "But I'm only one person; I can't work and drink coffee!" The Boss replies, "I'm cutting you back to forty cups a day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags unspecified short comings, co worker, accuser, witness protection program, boss, meeting, business

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Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leave work early, don't walk past, office of boss, just from roof, land in dumpster, leadership, cut throat

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dental appointement, cubilces, scowl, menaced, walk amongst workers, body double

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The Boss says to the costumed Asok, "I'm leaving early, in case I have a dental appointment or whatnot." The Boss puts his arm around Asok and says, "Walk amongst the cubicles until 7 p.m. and scowl at anyone who isn't working." Asok stands in Wally's cubicle with a scowl on his face. Wally replies, "Nice scowl. I feel slightly menaced."