Bad Decisions Comic Strips - Page 75

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View 741 - 750 results for bad decisions comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decisions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anti Gun Advocates

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Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

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dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Impostor Syndrome

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Impostor Syndrome  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend

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boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.

Elbonian Factory Problem

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Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

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dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Decisions Without Data

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Decisions Without Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #business, #time, #compile, #facts, #guess, #career

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dilbert with face mask: i need a quick decision on this, but i don't have time to compile the relevant facts. boss with face mask: without facts, i would just be guessing. dilbert: it won't affect your career average. boss: why wouldn't it? dilbert: let's change the subject.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

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Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

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the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #boss, #decision, #engineering, #knowledge, #marketing, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

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Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

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carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Real Data

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Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

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Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Cooties Diagnosis

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Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confirmed, #cooties, #diagnosis, #doctor, #medicine, #Opinion, #professional, #skepticism, #symptom, #test

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doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.