Robots Went Bad Comic Strips - Page 75
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Share February 02, 2018's comic on:
Wally: Our self-driving car went off a cliff with Ted in it. Did you tweak the software to make that happen? Dilbert; No, that was a bug. Wally: Was it a known bug? Dilbert: Now we're getting into a gray area.
Share March 18, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: There's a new tell-all book about our company. CEO: How bad is it? Dilbert: It's bad. Anonymous sources within the company say you're a "raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam." CEO: Put out a press release denying those lies! Dilbert: That's going to be tricky to write. CEO: Just say I deny being a sociopath with the mind of a clam. Also say I hope whoever said that about me dies a slow and terrible death. Is that clear? Dilbert: Yes, on many levels.
Share February 12, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Im worried about DIlberts mental health because his ideas are so bad. Asok: How did you rule out the hypothesis that his ideas are brilliant but you're too dumb to understand them? The Boss: Now Im worried about Asok's mental health too.
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Share March 10, 2018's comic on:
Man: Alice has been mentoring me for a month, and I can't tell how much of her advice is real and how much is a hoax. For example, she advised me to give our boss a wedgie because she said he likes assertive people. Is that real? Dilbert: I'm gonna say yes.
Share May 20, 2018's comic on:
Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.
Share April 25, 2018's comic on:
Dogbert: Being the owner of a cryogenic investment firm is a lot of work. So instead of keeping my customers' brains frozen, I decided to toss them in the river and hope no one notices. The best kind of customers are the ones who can't write bad Yelp! reviews.
Share May 02, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."
Share June 07, 2018's comic on:
Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.