Take Advantage Comic Strips - Page 76

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764 Results for Take Advantage

View 751 - 760 results for take advantage comic strips. Discover the best "Take Advantage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Taking Time Off

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Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, vacation, paid time off, critical, essential, system, migration, kidding, success, zoom, call, valuable, asset, engagement

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boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Catbert Keyboard Audit

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Catbert Keyboard Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, human resources, keyboard, audit, remote, workers, silly, laptop

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dilbert at laptop. catbert: human resources is doing keyboard audits on all remote workers. catbert: looks like you have a keyboard right there. catbert laying on keyboard: mmm-mmm! dilbert: will this take long?

Dogbert Is Selective

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Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom

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title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Ruined The Stock Price

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Ruined The Stock Price - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work

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boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

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Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video call, laptop, sick day, work, unwell, sick, work from home, coffee, lazy

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boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Bookshelves On Zoom

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Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, update, video call, zoom, client, lost, respect, staged, bookshelves, money, payment, deserve, background

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boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Instead Of Handshakes

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Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene

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boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

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Dilbert Gets A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, files, nemesis, assigned, prevent, successful, job, loptop

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Leadership Quality

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Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference

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boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.