Take Advantage Comic Strips - Page 76

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

763 Results for Take Advantage

View 751 - 760 results for take advantage comic strips. Discover the best "Take Advantage" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Is Selective

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, consultant, crisis, selective, client, jail, Advice, folksy, wisdom

View Transcript

Transcript

title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Ruined The Stock Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Taking Time Off

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, vacation, paid time off, critical, essential, system, migration, kidding, success, zoom, call, valuable, asset, engagement

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video call, laptop, sick day, work, unwell, sick, work from home, coffee, lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Bookshelves On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bookshelves On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, update, video call, zoom, client, lost, respect, staged, bookshelves, money, payment, deserve, background

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and alice on video call. boss: how did your zoom call with the client work out? alice: i lost all respect for him after seeing his poorly staged bookshelves in the background. but we'll still take his money, right? alice: yes, he doesn't deserve to keep any of it.

Instead Of Handshakes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Nemesis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, files, nemesis, assigned, prevent, successful, job, loptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Leadership Quality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

Asok Sighs Too Much

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Sighs Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, relationships, relocate, sigh, innocent, metamorphosis, question, cubicle, intern

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you relocate asok's cubicle? he sighs to much, and it's bugging me. boss: he sighs because he is metamorphosing from an innocent intern into a disgruntled employee. boss to asok: how long is this gonna take? asok: sigh