Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 76
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 751 - 760 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday March 22,
2012
Tags internet & world wide web, research, believe internet, roll eyes, ignorance, science
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my research on the internet, Plan B will work best. Boss: I'm rolling my eyes because you believe everything you read on the internet. Dilbert: I should take a picture in case someone ever asks me if ignorance has a tell.
Friday March 16,
2012
Tags illness, plunging productivity, 8 year old boy, traylor, germs, doctor, allergies, gives to mom, medical
Transcript
CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!
Thursday March 08,
2012
Tags elbonian contract, legal, night work, contract programmmers, heart attacks
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I want you to manage our Elbonian contract programmers. You'll need to work at night because of the time difference. Wally: People who work at night have more heart attacks. Are you trying to kill me? Boss: Yes, and it's totally legal. Wally: Well played.
Saturday March 03,
2012
Tags brag, contributions, ego, hours of work, man of ideas, meeting, business
Transcript
Wally: My contributions can't be measured by the number of hours I work. I'm a man of ideas. One great idea is worth more than all of you put together. Boss: Fine. Let's hear your great idea. Wally: You just did.
Tuesday February 28,
2012
Tags collaboration tools, human contact, internet & world wide web, judegment, long term goal, meetings, suite of tools
Transcript
Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Thursday February 09,
2012
Tags benefits, boss, employee, huge equity poistion, questing, start up, wear whatever, work at home
Transcript
Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.
Sunday February 05,
2012
Tags boss, business lunch, employee, freedom from tyranny, lunch, talk work, waddle, waddle away
Transcript
Boss: That restaurant was great. Dilbert: I know. I plan to go there someday for lunch. Boss: We just ate lunch. Dilbert: That wasn't lunch. Boss: It wasn't? Dilbert: You talked about work the entire time. Lunch is not defined by food. It's defined by freedom from tyranny. My lunch hour will begin the minute you waddle away. Was this going well until I said "waddle?"
Friday February 03,
2012
Tags business ethics, debt, future generations, power to lazy, bathroom mirror
Transcript
Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.
Wednesday February 01,
2012
Tags employees, frustration, magic, oogah-boogah, folder, assignment, boss request, attutude, business
Transcript
Boss: Alice, can you take care of this by close of business today? Alice: Oogah-boogah! Work be done! Let's hope magic is real! Boss: We need to talk about your attitude.
Saturday January 28,
2012
Tags absent mindedness, machinery, build robots, wait a week, forgets
Transcript
CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.


