Advice From Ceo Comic Strips - Page 76
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807 Results for Advice From Ceo
View 751 - 760 results for advice from ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Advice From Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 19,
2016
Who's Turn To Lie
Thursday January 12,
2017
Coaching Alice
Tags #coaching, #mentor, #boss, #manager, #Advice
Transcript
Boss: Do you want some coaching? Alice: Heck yes. If you find someone who knows my job better than I do, send them my way. Boss: Maybe I could share my wisdom with you. Alice: Can you teach me how to stay calm when some idiot interrupts me?
Saturday February 11,
2017
Estimating Software Completion
Tags #estimate, #deadline, #questioning, #delay, #prediction
Transcript
Boss: When will the next version of the software be done? Dilbert: That's like asking me to estimate how long it takes a salamander to evolve into a horse. Boss: So... what should I tell our CEO? Dilbert: Try the salamander analogy. It worked on you.
Friday February 17,
2017
Management Fast Track
Tags #talent, #management, #potential, #frustration
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, our CEO asked me to put you on the management fast track. Dilbert: Why does he hate me so much? Boss: He didn't say, but I have a lot of guesses if you want to hear them.
Tuesday March 28,
2017
Wanting More Out Of Life
Tuesday April 18,
2017
Wally's Sleep Vr
Tags #vr, #virtual reality, #sleeping, #nap, #deception, #technology
Transcript
Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?
Wednesday July 12,
2017
Getting The Wrong Answer
Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.
Wednesday October 04,
2017
Can We Borrow An Apron
Tags #pr, #public relations, #appearances, #homeless, #soup kitchen, #shelter
Transcript
Dogbert: We're here to get a photo of my client serving food to the homeless. Man: We don't need any help. Dogbert: In that case, can we borrow an apron and a spoon? Man: Um... I guess so. Dogbert: And can you wipe some gruel on the apron?
Thursday October 19,
2017
Boss Is The Common Variable
Tags #managing, #managers, #failure, #common denominator, #Advice, #performance, #motivation
Transcript
Boss: Every one of my employees is underperforming. What should I do? Catbert: You should fire yourself because you're the only common variable. Boss: I hadn't considered that. Catbert: That's how I know I'm right.
Thursday November 30,
2017
If We Are Off By One Percent
Tags #projection, #prediction, #finances, #big business, #guess, #estimate, #obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: According to my highly unreliable forecast, we're on the right track. But if even one of my seventeen assumptions is off by one percent, we are doomed. The obvious conclusion is that... Board: We're nailing it!