Bad Decision Maker Comic Strips - Page 76

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

772 Results for Bad Decision Maker

View 751 - 760 results for bad decision maker comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decision Maker" comics from Dilbert.com.

Appearing In Photos

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Appearing In Photos - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #technology, #social media, #friends, #Opinion, #abhor, #person, #characteristics, #jerk

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i can't be your friend because i saw a disturbing photo of you on social media. you were in a group photo with a person whose opinions i abhor. dilbert: can you explain why that makes me a bad person? tina: sure. duh. when you appear in photos with other people, you acquire their bad characteristics. dilbert: i don't think that's how it works. tina: that's exactly how it works! one photo with a jerk makes you a jerk! case closed! dilbert taking selfie with Tina in background: smile. tina upset: no-ooo!!!

View more books now

Knowing What Wally Does

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #review, #job, #projects, #expectations, #heuristics

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Anti Gun Advocates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Impostor Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Impostor Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #business, #imposter, #syndrome, #manager, #acting, #pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i have a bad case of imposter syndrome. i feel as if i'm only pretending to be a good manager, and someday everyone will find out it's an act. dilbert: if it makes you feel any better, we figured that out a while ago.

Elbonian Factory Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Factory Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #report, #factory, #elbonia, #problem, #lost, #power, #main, #floor, #employees, #scared, #trip, #dark, #gas, #line, #accident, #crater, #capital, #explosion, #unsympathetic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we have some problems in our elbonian factory. boss: how bad? dilbert: they lost power on the main floor. boss: that's not so bad. dilbert: the employees were scared. boss: they'll get over it. dilbert: one of them tripped in the dark. boss: big deal. dilbert: he accidentally opened a gas line. boss: a little gas never hurt anyone. dilbert: now there's a crater where the capital city used to be. boss and dilbert just looking at each other boss: let's keep an eye on that.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sciencesplainer Explains Science New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Two Bad Options

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.

Disbanding Task Force

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disbanding Task Force - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Real Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.