Card Table Comic Strips - Page 76

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View 751 - 760 results for card table comic strips. Discover the best "Card Table" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineering decison, #project, #need to act, #fiber capacity, #serial input, #meeting, #communication problems, #table, #business

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I needed to make an engineering decision about your project this morning." The Boss continues, "You'll need to act like you agree with it so I don't look stupid." Dilbert is at a meeting. A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "Explain to us how fiber capacity can be increased by serial input at breakfast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evolving, #sunlight, #sensitive, #attitude, #zit, #psychology

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Dilbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Hi, Bob. I haven't seen you lately." Bob responds, "I was doing some evolving." Dilbert and Bob are sitting at the kitchen table. Bob says, "I noticed that I have a zit that's sensitive to sunlight. I'm hoping it becomes an eye." Dilbert responds, "I like your attitude." Bob says, "Try to sneak up on me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magnetic cancelation wheel, #create free energy, #rule the world, #technology

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Dilbert is fixing a contraption on the table. He says to Dogbert, "My magnetic- cancellation wheel will create unlimited free energy." Dogbert 's ears fly up and he exclaims, "Buwahaha!!! I will use this technology to rule the world!!!" Dilbert replies, "Um.. It's not yours." Dogbert asks, "What time are you going to bed?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad hand writing, #harmful medication, #marketing, #mild rash, #prescription, #doctor, #exam room, #medical, #business

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Dilbert is sitting on the doctor's table. The doctor says, "It's a mild rash. I'll scribble and indecipherable prescription for you." Dilbert looks at the prescription and says, "What if your bad handwriting causes the pharmacy to give me harmful medication?" The doctor replies, "That's a little thing I call marketing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing genius, #rebate program, #process, #impenetrable fortress, #unclear instructions, #physical impossibilities, #hidden 300 digit, #serial number

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Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feng shui, #pet psychic, #new career, #furniture psychic, #wastebasket loves desk

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table. Dogbert says, "They believe in Feng Shui. They believe in the pet psychic." Dogbert continues, "This suggests an excellent new career for me." Carol approaches The Boss and says, "The furniture psychic is here. He says my wastebasket is in love with my desk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business card orders, #downsized, #3 per week, #possibility of leaving, #rates, #fees, #calculations

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Dilbert approaches Carol and asks, "How many business cards should I order?" Carol responds, "It depends." Carol continues, "I use a complex formula based on your burn rate and your likelihood of getting downsized." Dilbert says, "I use about three per week." Carol replies, "You'll need three cards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exporting leprechaun meat, #cameras, #elbonians, #no excuse

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Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is standing on a table. He addresses two Elbonians, "The media give you a bad rap for exporting leprechaun meat." Dogbert continues, "Our ad campaign will feature a leprechaun explaining that they enjoy being eaten." Ratbert is dressed up like a leprechaun in front of cameras. He is standing in a frying pan and holding a meat tenderizer. He says, "Elbonians are our best friends. Now excuse me while I tenderize myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #revenue estimates, #research, #too late, #higher revenue, #stress, #flashlight, #eyes, #science

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The Boss pokes his head in to Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Double the revenue estimates and make sure the research supports it." Dilbert responds, "But.. but... it's too late! The research is done, and it won't support higher revenue!" Dilbert is sitting on a doctor's table, shivering. The doctor flashes a light on Dilbert's face and says, "Your stress is from a combination of drive-by- management and a flashlight in your eyes."