Computer Software Comic Strips - Page 76

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

870 Results for Computer Software

View 751 - 760 results for computer software comic strips. Discover the best "Computer Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, thinking, sitting, computer, depressed, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "As usual, my coworkers have filled in every space on my outlook calendar." Dilbert says, "Now I am only a puppet hurdling toward failure." Man says, "Hey there, dailure puppet!" Dilbert thinks, "I hoped it wasn't so obvious."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guilt, excuse, lie, work, avoiding, acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, rating, performance, reviews, attributes, explaining, ridiculous, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, meeting, explaining, project, annoyed, angry, lazy, wasting, time, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, project, pain, ridicule, investment, computer, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I have invested all of my self-esteem in this powerpoint presentation." Dilbert thinks, "It is all that I am and all that I will be. It is a digital reckoning of my value." Alice says, "Did they catch the chimp who made your slides?" Dilbert says, "Ow. Ow. Ow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sitting, computer, Advice, fire, pain, angry, unexpected, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "Now what do I do?" Dilbert says ,"Click some buttons and see what happens. You can't hurt anything." Click Fzzeet! Dilbert says, "In my defense, that hardly ever happens."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags file emailed, viewer application, upgrade, operating system, new one, corrupted files

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, useless, questioning, ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to audit the software we have on our systems." Dilbert says, "Why?" The boss says, "So we know what we have." Dilbert says, "Who will use the information?" The boss says, "It's just important to have." DIlbert says, "It will be out of date before I'm even done." The boss says, "Do your best." Dilbert says, "The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up." The boss says, "I hope no one ever comes here to learn our best practices."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, question, ridiculous, serious, confused, annoyed, vendor, stupidity, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Is there any risk that the new software will erase our data?" Dilbert says, "Um?No." The boss says, "Did you ask the vendor that question?" Dilbert says, "Well, no, I?" The boss says, "Then you can't be sure, can you?" Dilbert says, "We outsource our payroll service. The payroll data isn't even on our servers." The boss says, "Isn't everything connected to everything else by the internet?" Dilbert says, "You want me to ask our vendor if his software will hunt down our payroll data from across the internet and try to kill it?" Dilbert says, "And you think he might say yes?" The boss says, "Better safe than sorry." Later that day Man says, "Yes, sometimes it does that. You're the first to ask." Dilbert thinks, "Shoot me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustrated, angry, stupidity, forgetful, yelling, ignorant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"