Head Of Market Research Comic Strips - Page 76

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

757 Results for Head Of Market Research

View 751 - 757 results for head of market research comic strips. Discover the best "Head Of Market Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Raise For Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
No Raise For Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #work, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I have a 25% raise to get my compensation up to market levels? Boss: No. Dilbert: Okay. I'll just work 25% less because you won't know the difference. Boss: I would know if you did that. Dilbert: Should I get back to separating the zeroes from the ones in our database?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Wally Writes Fiction

Thank you for voting.
Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Cause Of Unhappiness

Thank you for voting.
Cause Of Unhappiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #happiness, #office workers, #research, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of what makes people unhappy. It turns out that the primary cause of unhappiness is "other people". Alice: That's dumb. Dilbert: Said the other person.

Read The Manual

Thank you for voting.
Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.