New Product Comic Strips - Page 76
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1000 Results for New Product
View 751 - 760 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 29,
1994
Tags commercially viable, hard drive, installed software, tail, zimbu, monkey, animals
Transcript
The Boss: Well, well, It looks like Zumbu has designed another commercially viable product using only his tail. Dilbert: I could have done that....If I hadn't erased my hard drive when I installed my security software. I don't produce much, but its very secure. Monkey: Heres another one.
Tuesday April 26,
1994
Tags no raises, appliances, television, fridge, lava lamp, jar of mayonnaise, dog, boss, dilberet, animals, Entertainment
Transcript
"This year, instead of raises we're giving appliances." "What?!" "High performers could get a color television or a new 'fridge." "He called it a 'lava lamp'." "I call it a jar of old mayonnaise."
Thursday May 05,
1994
Tags product, what it does, who would duse it, rest later, plan to sell, psychic
Transcript
"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"
Tuesday July 05,
1994
Tags project cancelled, answer, task delegated, craft response, boss delegating job, do nothing boss, fraud
Transcript
The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.
Monday August 01,
1994
Tags boos, delegate work, mark compalins, throws a fit, complain, behind back, boss retreats
Transcript
The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,
Friday August 26,
1994
Tags dignity enhancement, help employees, less money, hire someone, co workers
Transcript
The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?
Wednesday September 07,
1994
Tags bungee boss, incoming, made a difference, mentor, sprong!, bouncing bungee
Transcript
The Boss: We'll be getting a new "Bungee Boss" sometime today. Hi - Im -your- new- boss- lets- change- every- thing- beef- I- get- reassigned- pops- too- late- goodbye. sproing wally: He was like a mentor to me. Dilbert: I think he made a difference. The Boss: Incoming!
Friday September 30,
1994
Tags after every typo, point and click, poorly documented commands, reboot, interface
Transcript
"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."
Saturday October 08,
1994
Tags two people, focus group, loved prodcut, not statistically useful, free food, sandwhiches
Transcript
The Boss: Two people in a focus group loved our product. So we're doubling our production. Dilbert: The opinions of two people are not statically useful. ...especially if you're one of the two people. The boss: I knew those free sandwiches were too good to be true.
Friday October 14,
1994
Tags 2004, cheaper than dating, date at door, Dogbert, future, holodeck, virtual reality, writing article, money, male hormones
Transcript
Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."

