Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 76

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View 751 - 760 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Narrates

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Dogbert Narrates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, narrator

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dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.

Paying The Replacement More

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Paying The Replacement More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, pay raise

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dilbert: if i were to quit, you would have to pay my replacement more than you are paying me. dilbert: wouldn't it be more fair to give me a raise to stay? the boss: how would that be fair to your replacement?

Keyboard Tapping

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Keyboard Tapping - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, sleeping, multi-task

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the boss: why do i hear a keyboard tapping every time i'm talking? click, click, click. alice: i have to multi-task when you talk, just to stay awake. the boss: please stop doing that. alice: okay... - zzzzzz-zzzzzz-zzz...

Bad Planning

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Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, teamwork, team, deadline

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ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.

Twitch Gets You More Work

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Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office, office workers, project

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the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, office, office workers, pay raise, employee of the year

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the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, strategy, variables, forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting

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Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meeting, office, office workers, elbonian, cyber threat

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the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...

Various Anonymous Sources

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Various Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, elbonian, office, office workers, spying, yelling

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ted: i have heard from various anonymous sources that you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: that's ridiculous. who told you that? ted: i can't say dilbert: well, my anonymous sources say you are nuts. ted yelling: you can't believe anonymous sources!

Bad Denials

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Bad Denials - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, spying, elbonia

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ceo: have you confirmed that the cyber attacks are coming from elbonia? dilbert: no. ceo: i guess that means you are on their side. dilbert: what? catbert: what proof do you have that dilbert is a spy? ceo: he didn't deny it the way I think he should have.