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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, integrate, bad technology, idiot boss, good etchnology, throw away, bad tech, pure veil

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Dilbert sits at a desk with a computer on it. Dogbert sits atop the computer. Dilbert says, "It's my job to integrate the bad technology that our idiot boss bought with the good technology we already own. Your advice?" Dogbert waves his arms in the air, "Throw away the bad technology. Goof off until the next planned upgrade of the good technology. Tell your boss the improvements are a result of his brilliant buying decision." Dilbert says, "Wow. That's almost pure evil." Dogbert says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blowing off idiots, information, web page, misunderstood

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Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil director, clean desk policy, lick clean, spineless, stupid

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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags digital pager, phone has pager, built in, dinosaur

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Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Envy me, Bob. I have a digital pager and you don't." Bob says, "I don't need one. My digital PCS phone has a built in pager function." Ratbert says, "Oh, wow." Ratbert sits on the back of Dilbert chair and says, "But the worst part is that he only uses it to clean his ears." Dilbert is working on his computer, "I taught him that. The vibrating action is excellent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work during vacation, supposed to work, concept, empathy

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Wally says to Alice, who is dressed casually and sitting at her computer, "It's a shame you have to work during your vacation. The same thing happened to me." Alice says, "Really?" Wally explains, "Actually, in my case I went on vacation when I was supposed to be working. But the concept is the same." Wally walks up to Dilbert, his clothing ripped and dishevled and a cup stuck on his face. "Apparently she wasn't looking for empathy," Wally says.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, alice, working during vacation, remain motivated, glass ceiling, never break

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Asok the intern stands behind Alice, who is dressed casually and sits at her computer. Asok says, "I admire your work ethic, Alice. You're even working during your vacation." Alice grimaces and grits her teeth. Asok continues, "It must be hard to remian motivated when you know you can never break though the glass ceiling." Alice grimaces some more. Asok's body dangles from the ceiling through a mass of tiles and wiring. Alice looks up at him and says,"So, it looks like it's just tile after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogebert, systems adminitrator, evil system, private, compiled binder, off color humor, unkind references, naughty propositions, heading, sing

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Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorant employees, controls information, board of directors, appointed emperor, escape key

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Dilbert sits at his computer. A voice comes from the video conferencing camera on top of the monitor. "This is Dogbert the Network Systems Administrator, to all ignorant employees." Dogbert stands in front of a computer terminal. He says, "He who controls your information, controls you. I control your information." The Boss sits at his computer. Dogbert voice says, "The board of directors has appointed me Emperor for Life. Bring the pointy-haried boss to me." The Boss furiously presses a key on his keyboard and thinks, "Uh-oh! The 'escape' key isn't working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ballon with sand, breaks, little ballon, requests new keyboard, sand in keyboard, stressful day, reduce stress

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Dilbert squeezes a "stress ball" while he sits at his computer. He thinks, "It's been a stressful day. Luckily I have this little balloon full of sand to squeeze and reduce my stress." Dilbert squeezes the balloon so hard it goes "poof" and sand falls into his keyboard. Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The Boss holds a paper, an equipment request, and says to Dilbert, "You need a new kybard? What's a kybard?" Dilbert is extremely angry and screams, "Just sign the stupid thing!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags growing beard, hide no chin, loose sweaters, no waist, sherlock holmes outfir, no clue, mannnequins, friends

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Wally is sitting with his tray of food at a table in the company cafeteria. Dilbert is about to sit down. Wally says, "I'm thinking of growing a beard to disguise the fact that I have no chin." Alice joins Wally and Dilbert at the table. Wally continues, "Then I'll get some loose sweaters to disguise the fact that I have no waist." Alice says, "Maybe you should get a Sherlock Holmes outfit to disguise the fact that you have no clue." Wally says, "Perhaps some mannequins as friends."