Big Business Comic Strips - Page 77
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1000 Results for Big Business
View 761 - 770 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday April 15,
2003
Tags unspecified short comings, co worker, accuser, witness protection program, boss, meeting, business
Transcript
Dilbert sits in The Boss' office. The Boss says, "A co-worker who shall remain nameless has accused you of unspecified shortcomings." The Boss continues, "Your accuser has been placed in the witness protection program." Dilbert asks, "You have a program for that?" The Boss replies, "Actually, I just forget who says what."
Monday May 05,
2003
Tags new thoughts, head heavier, compensate, meeting, no goals, be on stamp, future golas, business
Transcript
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Wally says, "I think my head is getting heavier from all the new thoughts." Wally continues, "I plan to compensate by propping it up with my arm during meetings." Dilbert says, "Some people think you have no goals." Wally responds, "Long term, I hope to be on a stamp."
Monday June 30,
2003
Tags eating tongue, flaming squirrels, project, sanity check, meeting, sanity for project, business
Transcript
In a meeting, an employee turns to The Boss and says, "I called this meeting o do a sanity check on my project." The employee yells, "Flaming squirrels are eating my tongue!!!" The employee turns to Alice and asks, "What?"
Friday August 08,
2003
Tags weather, close offcie, forecast for blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lave flows, precision-guided ball laightening, swims of killer bees, snow tires
Transcript
"The weather is getting worse. Maybe we should close the office." "No." "The forecast is blizzards, freezing rain, tsunamis, deadly lava flows, and precision-guided ball lightning." "And radiation enlarged swarms of killer bees." "Get some snow tires, you big baby."
Saturday August 16,
2003
Tags process of getting approval, hard way, meeting, no direct answers, business
Transcript
The man who couldn't give direct answers. Alice: "Did you ask your boss for approval?" Man: "Now i will explain the process for getting approval." Alice: "Do you want to do this the hard way?" Man: "First, you ask for a meeting."
Wednesday October 01,
2003
Tags ne whore, break room, pushy, punchable, met alice
Transcript
Man: "Hey, big guy, how's your golf game lately?" Dilbert: "I've only known you for three seconds and already I have a deep desire to punch you." Man: But no one ever does." Dilbert: "Have you met Alice?"
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags profitability, year 3, key revenue, comet strike oil, crashes through wall, abstractions, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
Monday October 20,
2003
Tags guest cartoonist, nildo orbfutz, consulting, welocme, breakroom, on the job training
Transcript
"Who's today's guest cartoonist?" "At great expense, I've just hired Nildo Orbfutz as a consultant. He will increase our productivity hereby calculating how much time is actually wasted!" "Well, Nildo. How did you acquire your credentials? Degree in business management? HR? PR? Psychology?" "On-the-job training." "Let me guess: you've been fired from every job you ever had... for wasting time?" "Welcome to the wonderfuk world of consulting." "Answer: go to Dilbert.com."
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags level conscious, vide presidents offcie, secretary, make direct eye contact, meeting, boss, new hire, business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Saturday November 15,
2003
Tags produce breakthrough, meeting, coach me, higher perfromance, no hope for progress, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My project has no progress and no hope for progress. I scheduled a meeting is I can fantasize that it will produce a breakthrough. I recommend that we have a meeting next week so you can fantasize that your'll coach me to higher levels of performance. The Boss: Sounds good.


