First Question Comic Strips - Page 77

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

787 Results for First Question

View 761 - 770 results for first question comic strips. Discover the best "First Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Prove A Negative

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Prove A Negative - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #accusations, #negative

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo to dilbert: is this everything i need to know? dilbert: yes. ceo: how can you be sure there isn't something out there we don't know about? dlbert: are you asking me to prove a negative? ceo: it's more of an accusation than a question.

Layoff Package

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Finding A Scapegoat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding A Scapegoat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #project, #ceo, #scapegaot, #climate change

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we'll need a scapegoat to blame for our failure on this project. dilbert: no one will believe it wasn't our fault. the boss: are you kidding? the boss: people will believe anything. the boss: we just have to be the first to frame the situation. dilbert: i suppose we could make our lie sound credible. the boss: that's overkill. dilbert: we don't need to sound credible? the boss: not even a little. the boss is in ceo's office. the boss: our project failed because of climate change. ceo: that sounds right.

Zombie Projects

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

Drooling Incompetents

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #competent, #incompetent

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

Measuring Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

More People Working At Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?

Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #danger, #employees, #frustration, #office workers, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Please don't stare at my head. I've been banging it against a wall to reduce my frustration. Alice: That sounds dangerous. Dilbert: I thought so too, at first. Alice: And now? Dilbert: Now I don't think. I'm much happier.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.