Company Comic Strips - Page 77
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Character
882 Results for Company
View 761 - 770 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 10,
2016
Gawful Media Company
Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, morals, executives, decision, information
Transcript
CEO: The board is proud to announce that we will be acquiring the Gawful Media Company. Dilbert: Are you aware that Gawful is so despicable that a crime bill has their name on it? CEO: Hey, don't blame me. I told the board that someone should Google them.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 11,
2016
Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company
Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, reputation, infamy
Transcript
CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...
Wednesday October 12,
2016
Internet Wants Ceo To Die
Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker
Transcript
CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.
Sunday October 16,
2016
Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business
Transcript
Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.
Saturday November 12,
2016
Bought His Last Company
Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin
Transcript
Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.
Tuesday December 13,
2016
Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man
Tags social media, twitter, public speaking, embarrassment, spokesperson, killing, racism, assumption, technology
Transcript
Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.
Thursday December 22,
2016
Strategy Document
Tags strategy, obliviousness, insult
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.
Monday January 23,
2017
Wally's Coffee Ideas
Tags coffee, obsession, caffeine, decaf, competition, thinking, intelligence
Transcript
Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.
Tuesday January 31,
2017
Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish
Sunday February 19,
2017
Tags space, cubicle, conference room, office, sharing, obstinacy
Transcript
Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.

