Company Comic Strips - Page 77

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882 Results for Company

View 761 - 770 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.

Gawful Media Company

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Gawful Media Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, morals, executives, decision, information

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CEO: The board is proud to announce that we will be acquiring the Gawful Media Company. Dilbert: Are you aware that Gawful is so despicable that a crime bill has their name on it? CEO: Hey, don't blame me. I told the board that someone should Google them.

Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company

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Accidentally Buying A Tainted Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merger, acquisition, gawker, reputation, infamy

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CEO: I accidentally talked the board into buying a company that has a tainted reputation. Catbert: How bad is the taint? CEO: Imagine Hitler's unwashed socks. Catbert: That isn't so bad. CEO: I'm just getting started. Now imagine I make you eat those socks...

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

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Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, shame, unpopular, popularity, public relations, gawker

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CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business

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Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Bought His Last Company

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Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparison, comparing, merger, acquisition, liquidation, layoff, redundancy, big business, competition, darwin

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Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.

Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man

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Asok Agrees To Be Hit Man - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, twitter, public speaking, embarrassment, spokesperson, killing, racism, assumption, technology

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Boss: Our company spokesperson embarrassed us on social media. Does this qualify him for an "honor killing?" Asok: No, and you're a racist. Boss: Here's what he said on social media. Asok: Okay, I'm in.

Strategy Document

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Strategy Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags strategy, obliviousness, insult

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Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.

Wally's Coffee Ideas

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Wally's Coffee Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, obsession, caffeine, decaf, competition, thinking, intelligence

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Wally: I recommend buying the company that supplies coffee to our biggest competitor. We'll replace their regular coffee with decaf enjoy a solid 20-point I.Q. advantage over them. Boss: Do all of your ideas involve coffee. Wally: Only the good ones.

Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish

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Robot Lawyer Writes Gibberish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags chair, conversation, meeting, robot, sue, table, business

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Boss: We replaced our company lawyer with a robot. Boss: It already rewrote all of our contracts into gibberish. Dilbert: Do we want that? Boss: I tried to ask, but it threatened to sue me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, cubicle, conference room, office, sharing, obstinacy

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Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.