Hand Off Comic Strips - Page 77

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

857 Results for Hand Off

View 761 - 770 results for hand off comic strips. Discover the best "Hand Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

Rat With An Ear On His Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biology, #experiment, #human tissue, #lab, #rat, #regeneration, #science, #technology, #guest artist, #joel friday

View Transcript

Transcript

Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

Wally Has Passon For No Goals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has Passon For No Goals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #achievement, #laziness, #work ethic, #catch-22, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You told us we need to set goals and have passion. But what if my passion is to avoid having measurable goals? Boss: You're passionate about being useless? Wally: Hey, back off, dream-killer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Knows That Dilbert Knows - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #secret, #gratitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ted knows that I know something about his project. Now he won't stop hounding me. I don't know what to do. Wally: Try dousing him with coffee. Dilbert: Your advice is terrible. Wally: You're coming off as ungrateful.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #workspace, #noise, #cubicle, #open floorplan, #etiquette, #fingernails, #toenails

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the slide deck? Alice: I tried, but it was impossible. Some idiot in a nearby cubicle was clipping his nails. It was like torture. Clip, clip, clip, clip, clip. I couldn't think with that noise polluting the office air. I thought it ended, but then I heard some shoes and socks come off. It was my worst nightmare. Boss: Okay, whatever. Wally, did you finish your tasks? Wally: I tried, but then I notice that my nails were uneven.

Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't Need Vacations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #work ethic, #workload, #time off

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Company policy says you have to take a vacation. Dilbert: I don't want one. I would be bored for a week and come back to all the work that piled up while I was gone. Boss: Nothing about you is normal. Dilbert: Thank you.

Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Asks About Bereavement Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #bereavement, #deception, #time off

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Does the company offer bereavement leave? Boss: Yes. Wally: Good, because I have hundreds of cousins that don't 'take care of themselves. Cousin Ronnie just fell off a shed.

Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Cousin Ronnie Dies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #hr, #funeral, #time off, #bereavement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take some bereavement time, with pay, because my cousin Ronnie died. Catbert: Cousins don't count unless you married one. Wally: We were domestic partners. What's the police on that, you bigot?