Job Comic Strips - Page 77
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Character
936 Results for Job
View 761 - 770 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 21,
2015
Wally's Stress Problem
Tags stress, health, work, employee, work ethic, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Saturday October 31,
2015
The Cause Of Human Motivation
Tags motivation, cause and effect, trick, deception, logic, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.
Wednesday November 04,
2015
How It Feels To Never Accomplish
Tags work ethic, laziness, perspective, happiness, satisfaction, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: What's it like to never feel the satisfaction of a job well done? Wally: It's even better than you'd think! Dilbert: We might not be on the same page here. Wally: I hope your page feels as good as mine.
Saturday January 02,
2016
That's Motivation Not Stalking
Tags compliment, managers, jargon, sincerity, insincere, motivation, motivate, annoyance, frustration
Transcript
Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.
Sunday January 10,
2016
Tags justice, trial, jury duty, laziness, lazy, juror, legal system
Transcript
Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.
Friday January 22,
2016
Robot With No Freedom
Tags freedom, technology, robots, existentialism, job, employment, philosophy, business
Transcript
Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.
Tuesday February 09,
2016
Dilbert Becomes Quasimodo
Tags hunchback, posture, slouch, attitude, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: This job is turning me into Quasimodo. Tina: Is it mostly a posture thing, or do you have some of the Quasi's attitude as well? Dilbert; What's wrong with my posture? Tina: I could ask you what's wrong with his attitude.
Sunday February 21,
2016
Tags quality, work ethic, deadlines, expectations, speed, trade off
Transcript
Boss: When will you have that done? Dilbert: Two weeks. Boss: Can you do it faster? Dilbert: Yes. All I need to do is lower the quality. Dilbert: Tell me what your minimum acceptable quality level is and I'll tell you when you can have it. Boss: I want it in one week. Dilbert: I can do that at 50 percent of planned quality. Boss: Why does it feel as if I'm not really managing anything here? Dilbert: Maybe you could go manage someone else now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm doing my job now. Dilbert: Is it your job to prevent me from working?


