Law Of Found Money Comic Strips - Page 77

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

828 Results for Law Of Found Money

View 761 - 770 results for law of found money comic strips. Discover the best "Law Of Found Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Virus Gives Everyone A Raise  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, infection, computer, malware, morals, salary, technology, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Loan Shark   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loan, loan shark, money, racket, interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gambling, Win, loss, money, obliviousness, jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loses Wife And Money  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags role model, aspiration, gambler, gambling, money, Win, Lose, success, quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?

Offensive Tweet From Long Ago

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Offensive Tweet From Long Ago - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comprehensive, offensive, poor reading, sense of humor, seven years, offensive tweet, twitter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, deadline, free time, death march, payment, salary, pay check, bonus, non caring, cold, heartless monster, no sense shame, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, big business, logic, loss, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projections, budget, finance, math, excuse, compliment, accuracy, education, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?