Service Business Comic Strips - Page 77
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 761 - 770 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 28,
2010
Tags customer service, credit card expense, reimbursement, late fees, punish, devil, hell, rock, sit at computer
Transcript
Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday April 29,
2010
Tags meeting, project, length, add people, months, useless, sit down, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "How long will your project take if I add two people?" Dilbert says, "Add one month for training, one month for the extra complexity, and one month to deal with their drama." The Boss says, "But after all of that?" Dilbert says, "They'll be as useful as this meeting."
Tuesday May 04,
2010
Tags meeting, technology service, hospice, bazooka, hold gun, intimidate, compassion, surprise, scared, computer, windows xp, technology, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Technology Hospice Service to ease the suffering of our dying technology." The Boss says, "Dogbert will use compassion and? what was the other thing?" Dogbert says, "Bazooka." Dogbert says, "Step away from the Windows XP!"
Friday May 07,
2010
Tags evil director of human resources, payroll expenses low, bad reviews, employees, defects, list, faults, alphabetical, business
Transcript
Catbert says, "We can keep our payroll expenses low by giving employees bad reviews." Catbert says, "Use this list of employee defects so you don't repeat yourself. It's less obvious this way." The Boss says, "Awkward, bumbling, cowardly, dumb?" Dilbert says, "My faults are suspiciously alphabetical."
Monday May 10,
2010
Tags meeting, email, laptop, boring, time suck hole, yell, thorough, play music, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"
Wednesday May 12,
2010
Tags reprimand, sign-off, marketing, paper, vivid memory, unicorns, false, conversation, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I told you to get a sign-off from marketing before you sent this around." Dilbert says, "How vivid is your false memory of that conversation?" The Boss says, "It's plenty vivid." Dilbert says, "Were unicorns involved?"
Saturday May 15,
2010
Tags customer support, customer service, rodent, talk on phone, creepy personal questions, waste of time, refund
Transcript
Ratbert's customer support Ratbert says, "You're speaking to a powerless rodent." Ratbert says, "My job is to prevent you from getting to anyone who is authorized to give refunds." Ratbert says, "I'd like to begin by asking you some creepy personal questions."
Wednesday May 19,
2010
Tags merger talks, business as usually, happy, yell, take off shirt, take off tie, wide eyes, surprise, outburst, shirtless, bare chest, plan
Transcript
The Boss says, "We're in merger talks, but it's business as usual until it goes through." Wally says, "I'm free! My efforts won't influence my rewards!" The Boss says, "I said business as usual." Wally says, "I was totally planning to do this today."
Saturday May 22,
2010
Tags meeting, honest feedback, strategy, lie, misperception, hate people, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Alice, I called this meeting because you're the only person I trust to give me honest feedback on my strategy." Alice says, "It's great. It's amazing. It's the best strategy in the universe." The Boss says, "I thought you were honest." Alice says, "That's a common misperception. I just hate people."
Sunday May 23,
2010
Tags business case, hold folder, funding, deny, landfill wet hunting, frustrating, yell, shake, upset
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I finished the business case." Dilbert says, "You said you would try to get funding if the numbers look good." The Boss says, "I never said that." Dilbert says, "I clearly remember it. I can describe our conversation word for word." The Boss says, "I probably said something that sounded like 'I will get funding' and you heard it wrong." Dilbert says, "What exactly sounds like 'I will get funding'?" The Boss says, "Landfill wet hunting." Dilbert says, "That's not even a good try!!!" The Boss says, "Shake it off."

