Business People Comic Strips - Page 77

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business People

View 761 - 770 results for business people comic strips. Discover the best "Business People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Optimal Meeting Density

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Optimal Meeting Density  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuses, excuse, meeting, meetings, powerpoint, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.

Dogbert's Personality Profiles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Personality Profiles   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, personality, test, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have the results of your Dogbert Personality Profiles. Based on your questionnaire answers, Alice is angry, Wally is lazy, and Dilbert is boring. Dilbert: How are we supposed to use this new information? Dogbert: Wake me up when he's done talking.

Not Morons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not Morons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, tag line, slogan, name-calling, insult, obliviousness, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing, damage control, slogan, tag line, image, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Anger Issues

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Anger Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger issues, listen to crazy people, mental problems, work weekend, crazy people

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im worried that all of my employees might have mental problems. The Boss: They exhibited anger issues when I told them to work all weekend for no extra pay. CatBert: Did they say you're the cause off their mental problems? The Boss: I dont listen to crazy people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hazmat suit, harrass, wear suit, harrasment, offcie, prevention, dressed up, human resources, inappropriate delivery, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Obvious Ideas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Obvious Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags copyright, ideas, thinking, stealing, intellectual property, originality

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People keep stealing all of my great ideas. Alice: Have you ruled out the possibility that you only think of ideas that are obvious? Boss: Hmm... I hadn't considered that. Alice: And yet it was obvious.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, bug, deception, insider trading, stock, trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

Sunk Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sunk Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, big business, logic, loss, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The economics of the project have changed. We need to shut it down. Boss: If we stop now, the $10 million we already spent will be wasted. Dilbert: And if we stop later? Boss: The trick is to never finish the project.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.