Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 77

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

798 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 761 - 770 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sadist Designs Interface

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sadist Designs Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, user, interfaces, job, unwanted, customers, sadist, stockholm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.

Common Sense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Common Sense  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, common sense, request, specifications, assumption, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?

Finding Qualified Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, interview, questions, job market, engineers, baker, mortuary, assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Vendor Not Performing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Vendor Not Performing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, conversation, excellent, hardware, network, price, record, reliability, warranty

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the new hardware you bought isn't compatible with our network. boss: i know, but the price was excellent, and they have a great reliability record. dilbert: i don't even know what conversation i'm in right now. boss: the extended warranty is second to none.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, phone, search, time, bored, Win, still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Three Dogberts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.

One Source Of Stress

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, work at home, human, contact, stress, co-workers, bored, print, money

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.