Asok Comic Strips - Page 78

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View 771 - 780 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discrimination, gays, ignorance (knowledge), india, supreme court, nuclear arsenal, scientific knowledge, illegal to be gay, nuke, taj mahal, so gay

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Asok: I can never return to India because the Supreme Court made it illegal to be gay there. Does it worry you that they have a nuclear arsenal and the scientific knowledge of inebriated astrologists? Dilbet: They might nuke the Taj Mahal. Asok: I know! That place is so gay, right?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags balanced, hiding in plain sight, life balance, rewarding work, so genius, work ethic, secret to rewarding life, learning secrets

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Wally: The secret to having a rewarding work-life balance is to have no life. Then it's easy to keep things balanced by doing no work. Asok: So simple, and yet, so genius. Wally: It was hiding in plain sight.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stress, experiment, flattened organization, best play, beat each other, coffee, mugs, smooth transition, science

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Boss: Our experiment with flattened organization failed. I'm your boss again. Dilbert: I think our best pay here is to beat each other to death with our coffee mugs. Boss: No one said the transition would be smooth. Dilbert: Make the first one count.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, movies, clever video, create video, internet, go viral, marketing experts, engineer, more passion, loser attitude, viral video, Entertainment, technology, engineering

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Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, potato, worlds worst conversationalist, russet

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Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bodily fluids, buggy, ceo reputation, competitors, death, medical, misleading ads, not selling, overriced, owls, pal costume, product failure, product name, super yacht, vaguely racist

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Boss: We need to figure out why our new product isn't selling well. Dilbert: It's buggy and overpriced. Wally: OUr competitors sell a far better product at half the price. Asok: Our ads are overtly misleading and vaguely racist. Alice: Our product name reminds people of bodily fluids and death. People hate us because our CEO has an endangered owl shooting range on his super yacht. Boss: Does anyone have an idea to fix all of that? Wally: Maybe. Do you own an owl costume?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business

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Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags environmental issues, batteries discarded, landfill, janitor, trash, garbage, recycle

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Boss: For environmental reasons, all used batteries must be discarded in the special receptacle in the break room. When it's full, the janitor will dump it into the regular trash and take it to the landfill. Dilbert: Maybe we could ask him not to. Boss: No one know what language he speaks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags disciplines, horns, injected, magic, spell remover, tail, work ethic, performance enhancing, drugs, boss injected

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Dilbert: Our boss injected me with job performance enhancing drugs. Wally: Job performance be gone! Apparently, I can do that now. Asok: I must find more disciples.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, networking, key to success, avoid contact, with losers, send off, security

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Asok: I'm reading a book that says the key to success is networking with successful people. CEO: Did you get to the chapter where it says successful people should avoid all contact with losers? Asok: It seems we have a standoff. CEO: Security.