Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 78

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arms Out

View 771 - 780 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags procurement, special cable, rope, exclusive contract, rope distributer, monkey, cheaper, desk, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags improve morale, want drinking enough, coffee meetings, never leave table

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags refreshed, vacation for boss, calm and relaxed, burn clothes, wally sat in chair, cooty squad

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss walks back into his office and thinks, "I'm refreshed from my vacation." The Boss sits in his chair and thinks, "I am calm and relaxed." Carol says, "Wally sat in your chair." The Boss' chair is being lifted out by members of the Cooty Squad. One of the Cooty Squad workers says to The Boss, "We'll have to burn your clothes too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags highlight, staff meeting, wally report, hair styled, usual, hair stylist, used nose trimmer, seemed right, salon brawl

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frequent grocery club, memebership, Card, engineer spittle, carry card, inconvienced, junk mail list, charge me same

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the checkout line of a supermarket. The cashier asks him, "Are you a member of our frequent grocery club?" Dilbert responds, "No, what is it?" The cashier replies, "You get a membership card that entitles you to discounts." Dilbert says, "Let's see if I have this straight..." Dilbert continues, "I'll be inconvenienced by having to fill out a form and carry your stupid card around..." Dilbert continues, "And in return, you'll put me on a junk mail list, and charge me the same as the grocery store across the street?" Dilbert yells, "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?!!" The customer in line behind Dilbert says, "But it's free!" The cashier says into the intercom, "Cleanup on register two.. it's engineer spittle."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stretch goals, signaling surrender, no to doughnut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Starting today, our goals will be replaced by stretch goals." Asok asks, "Stretch goals?" Alice says, "Stretch goals are like stretch pants. It's a way of signaling surrender." Asok puts up both arms in surrender. Alice says, "Speaking of which, I wouldn't say no to a doughnut."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dreaming about work, sleep at work, dreaming, sleeping, freaking out, considered work, pills

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally lies on a psychologist's couch and says, "I can't stop dreaming about work." Wally continues, "And I usually sleep at work, so I'm dreaming about sleeping and it's freaking me out." The therapist asks, "Have you considered doing work?" Wally responds, "I want pills. You Quack."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags empty cubicles, frightens customres, adopt cubicle, decorate, appear occupied, phil de cube, imaginary employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "We have too many empty cubicles. It frightens our customers." The Boss continues, "Each of you will adopt an empty cubicle and decorate it to appear occupied." Wally and Dilbert are walking out. Wally says, "My imaginary employee will be a Frenchman named Phil de Cube." Dilbert responds, "Nice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags shape no text, all good ideas used, green, creative person, meeting, print ads, brain storming, limited ideas, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The advertising executive holds up a drawing in front of The Boss and Dilbert. He says, "Your print ads would look like this. It's a shape with no text." The advertising executive continues, "I did some checking and found out that all the good ideas have been used. This is all that's left." The Boss asks, "Can it be green?" The advertising executive responds, "Whoa! Who's the creative person here?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags make box bluer, micromanaging, blood smaple, microscope, manage cellular level, erwin schrodinger, quantum level, free gifts, white blood cells, say hi

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Make the box bluer." The Boss continues, "A little more.. A little more... A little more.." Alice interrupts, "That's it!!" Alice opens her drawer and exclaims, "When you get tired of micromanaging me..." Alice hands The Boss a cup of blood and continues, "Put this sample of my blood under a microscope so you can manage me on a cellular level." Alice continues yelling, "And here's a book by Erwin Schrodinger in case you'd like to manage me on a quantum level!" Alice screams, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" The Boss walks out carrying the blood sample and book. He thinks, "Free gifts." The Boss sits at his desk and says to the blood sample, "Now I want all of you white blood cells to spell 'Hi.'"