Best Plan Comic Strips - Page 78

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789 Results for Best Plan

View 771 - 780 results for best plan comic strips. Discover the best "Best Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

People Enjoy Context

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People Enjoy Context  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

Talk To The Experts

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Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

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boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Safety Record

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Safety Record - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #safety, #record, #industry, #best, #face mask, #untrue, #lie, #idiot

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boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...

Wally Hates His App

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Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

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wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.

Share Your Screen

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Share Your Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #technology, #business, #office, #video conference, #zoom, #share, #screen, #quit

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dilbert looking at laptop on video conference voice from laptop: let me share my screen and i'll...uh-oh. oops. not that screen. don't judge me! how do i make it go away?!!! gaaa!!! i can't take the embarrassment! i quit! Dogbert and dilbert in another room dogbert: how was your zoom call? dilbert: best one ever.

Can't Tell When He Is Joking

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #joking, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #employment, #moon lighting, #work, #video conference

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dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire

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Dogbert The Bitcoin Billionaire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #pandemic, #billionaire, #covert, #plan, #rule, #planet, #progress, #sarcasm

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dilbert: this pandemic has been hard for all of us. dogbert: not me. i became a bitcoin billionaire and made progress on my covert plan of ruling over the planet. dilbert: why am i just hearing this? dogbert: because i'm good at it.

Lazy People Are Efficient

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Lazy People Are Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #efficient, #projects, #lazy, #assignments, #useful

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wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.

Wally's Best Idea

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Wally's Best Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lack, #accomplishments, #best, #idea, #career, #interruption, #finish, #sarcasm

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boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.

Alice Compliments Ted

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Alice Compliments Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #project, #job, #great, #dread, #foreboding, #generous, #trap, #lull, #sabotage, #career, #monster

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alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.