Card Table Comic Strips - Page 78

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View 771 - 780 results for card table comic strips. Discover the best "Card Table" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales engineer, #making sale, #install, #few extra features, #massage table, #sprawl, #get naked

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Sales Engineer Sales engineer: I did the hard part of making the sale. All you have to do is install it. I might have promised them a few extra features. Did you bring your own massage table or should I just get naked and sprawl on a desk?

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Have you signed Ted's get well card yet? "Don't leave that here. Ted passed away two weeks ago. How long have you had the card on your desk?" "Have you signed Ted's get well card yet?" "Put it on the pile."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

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Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #passion for job, #ceo's visit, #meeting, #condescending, #rented mules, #intimidate, #corproartions, #afford luxury items, #ping pong table, #no raise, #offend, #belitte, #pay dosparity, #slavery, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security card, #appreciate, #front pocket, #thrust at door sensor, #door opener

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CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #working, #talking, #telephone, #threat

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Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, "Please listen while I read this threatening script." Dilbert says, "I have hidden poisonous spiders in your home. If you pay us now by credit card I will give you the antidote." Dilbert says, "Okay, fine" Dilbert says, "But if you feel a tickle on your leg, give me a call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lazy, #new employee, #youth, #argument, #violence, #pain, #victory

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Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

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Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz