Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 78
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Character
1000 Results for Retail Business
View 771 - 780 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday April 09,
2016
New Ted
Tags hiring, generic, job, placeholder, disposable, guest artist, brenna thummler, business
Transcript
Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.
Wednesday April 06,
2016
Ted Has A Ravine Option
Tags cruelty, empathy, hr, human resources, mean, guest artist, brenna thummler, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.
Sunday March 20,
2016
Tags technology, coding, code, control, efficiency, purpose, job, red tape, business
Transcript
Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?
Tuesday March 08,
2016
Try Not Being Boring
Tags motivation, inspiration, frustration, bored, boring, powerpoint, meeting, obliviousness, eric scott, business
Transcript
CEO: I don't think my motivational messages are getting through to the employees. I can't make them pay attention to anything. Catbert: Have you tried not being boring? CEO: Good idea. I'll make fifty slides of pure excitement.
Friday March 04,
2016
Business Plan History
Tags business plan, futile, futility, goal, guest artist, logic, plan, john glynn
Transcript
Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.
Tuesday March 01,
2016
Trapped Under Rubble
Tags freedom, guest artist, happiness, job, misery, satisfaction, john glynn, business, psychology
Transcript
Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."
Tuesday February 23,
2016
Asok Needs Money And Social Life
Monday January 25,
2016
Doubling Percieved Lifespan
Friday January 22,
2016
Robot With No Freedom
Tags freedom, technology, robots, existentialism, job, employment, philosophy, business
Transcript
Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.
Monday January 11,
2016
How Work Is Going
Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.

