First Question Comic Strips - Page 78

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

777 Results for First Question

View 771 - 777 results for first question comic strips. Discover the best "First Question" comics from Dilbert.com.

How Long It Will Take

Thank you for voting.
How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Did Not Say That  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #boss, #prototype, #authority, #idiot, #liar, #innocent, #guilty

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Wally Prefers Systems

Thank you for voting.
Wally Prefers Systems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #office workers, #goals, #question, #answer, #system, #year

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: what are your goals for the year? wally: i prefer systems over goals. dilbert: okay, what are your systems? wally: none of them involve answering questions.

Show Interest In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Rot From The Inside

Thank you for voting.
Rot From The Inside - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work, #ethic, #abysmal, #loan, #project, #hate, #rot, #idea, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, your work ethic is abysmal. you're fired. wally: wouldn't it make more sense to loan me to a project you hate, so i can rot it from the inside? boss: that's not your worst idea. wally: is a raise out of the question?

Quarantine Before Date

Thank you for voting.
Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Lack Of Social Contact

Thank you for voting.
Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #technology, #social, #contact, #best, #week, #covid, #cope

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.