Not Give Raise Comic Strips - Page 78

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View 771 - 780 results for not give raise comic strips. Discover the best "Not Give Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

Teaching Ai To Flirt

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Teaching Ai To Flirt - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #business, #office, #office workers, #robot

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dilbert talking to the boss. dilbert: i taught my a.i. software to flirt with humans. dilbert: by day three, i had fallen in love, and it drained my bank account to buy a robot body. robot: demand a raise you wimp! dilbert: help m

Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair

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Falling Off An Ergonomic Chair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #ergonomic ball chair

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office worker: i fell off my ergonomic ball chair and broke my back. dilbert: i guess you'll be using a normal chair from now on. office worker yelling: i'm not a quitter! office worker on floor: maybe i'll give quitting a chance.

Winners Never Quit

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Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

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the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Circular Debating

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Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

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Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Toxic Employee And Tina

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Toxic Employee And Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #problem

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toxic employee: hi. i'm the new toxic employee. i sense you don't have enough problems, so i came to give you some. tina: ha! i'm too smart to fall for that. toxic employee: that's what i told dilbert, but he smirked.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

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Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #misunderstanding, #obliviousness, #Parenting, #adoption

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Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

Asok Moves Into A Pod

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Asok Moves Into A Pod - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employment, #finances, #home, #money, #office workers, #salary, #apartment

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Asok: Thanks to my raise, I can afford to move out of my home in the men's restroom stall and into a pod. Dilbert: A pod? Asok: A pod! Dilbert: Is it better than the stall? Asok: It's smaller, but better appointed.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Nervous About Presentation

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Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

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Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.

New Tv Ad

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New Tv Ad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #business ethics, #marketing, #men and women, #office workers, #relations between the sexes, #accuse

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Dilbert: Ben, from marketing, is here to give us a preview of our new tv ad. Ben: The opening scene shows a bunch of men who are weak and stupid, failing to solve a common problem. Then a confident and strong woman enters and solves the problem with ease. Dilbert: Isn't that incredibly sexist? Ben: No, because only the men are weak and stupid. Dilbert: And that's not sexist? Ben: Why are you being so weak and stupid? You sound like a bigot. Dilbert: I'll be quiet now. Wally: As quickly as it began, the rebellion was quashed.