Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 79
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1000 Results for Arms Out
View 781 - 790 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 27,
2000
Tags upgraded three things, broke three things, terms, computer work
Transcript
The I.S. employee says to Noriko, "Well, I upgraded three things and I accidentally broke three things." The I.S. employee continues, "In I.S. terms, I came out ahead." Noriko responds, "Does my computer work?" The I.S. employee replies, "No, but if it did, it would be much faster."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday July 29,
2000
Tags computer screen, fuzzy, fiddling, stop working, flu season, clean screen, handkerchief
Transcript
The Boss calls to Dilbert as he stands in the doorway of his office. "Thanks to you, my computer screen is all fuzzy now!" Dilbert continues walking, wondering to himself what the Boss was talking about. The Boss is irritated with Dilbert and with both arms raised he says, "You're always fiddling with something that makes something else stop working." Dilbert replies, "Don't clean your screen with your handkerchief during flu season." The Boss answers with both hands on his hips, "Stop changing the subject."
Friday August 18,
2000
Tags conditioning worsening, easiest rounds, home early, layoffs, storm, trick
Transcript
The Boss types on his computer, "Due to worsening storm conditions, all 'non-essential' personnel may go home early." The Boss reaches in his desk drawer. The Boss peers out the window in his office through his binoculars and thinks to himself, "This will be the earliest round of layoffs ever."
Thursday August 31,
2000
Tags network server, certifed, power of certifciation, embarrassing, c for certified, superman tech, class, forgets
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a computer typing. A man dressed as a superhero with a 'C' on his chest says, "Step away from that network server! I'm certified!" The man sits in front of the computer, raises his arms and calls, "I summon the vast power of certification!!!" The man looks at the computer and says, "Well, this is embarassing; that's all I remember from the classes."
Monday September 04,
2000
Tags feel harassed, multi celled life form, resume, shake hands, yelp
Transcript
During an interview, the Boss says to the cell "Your resume says you're a multi-celled life form." The Boss continues, "That's exactly what we're looking for!" The Boss begins shaking the cell. "I'm trying to shake hands. If you feel harassed in any way just let out a yelp."
Thursday September 07,
2000
Tags amoeba, boss, cry, cubicle, doing work, gets fired, key board, one cell organism, secrete
Transcript
The Boss: This isn't working out. I have to let you go, Maybe you can get your old job back at far works. The Boss: Great, Now he's going to secrete.
Friday September 08,
2000
Tags uninterrupted, productivity, crumbs in sink, black sheep
Transcript
Dilbert thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, "Today I will know the joy of uninterrupted productivity." Wally approaches Dilbert with a cup of coffee in hand and says, "We're forming a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink." Dilbert replies, "I assume it's you." Wally answers, "We need more black sheep around here."
Friday September 22,
2000
Tags doomed projects, fake mergencies, more efficient, unnecessary meetings, to do list
Transcript
Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."
Wednesday September 27,
2000
Tags forty million dollars, needs approval, over budget, whose side?
Transcript
Dilbert holds out a slip of paper to his Boss and says, "This needs your approval." The Boss looks at the piece of paper and Dilbert continues, "The company will save forty million dollars but you'll be ten thousand over budget." Dilbert says, "And before you ask, no it won't work the other way around." The Boss says, "Whose side are you on?"
Thursday September 28,
2000
Tags show plan, budget, resources, weakness
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk and Dilbert says, "I'm sure your boss will increase the budget if you show him my plan." The Boss throws up his arms and says, "I just asked him for something else. I can't keep asking him for resources!" Dilbert asks, "So...you think that doing your job is a sign of weakness?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Look what it did to you."

