Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 79

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795 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 781 - 790 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Words

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Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #elbonian, #headquarters, #language, #factory, #Word

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boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Ghost Writer

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Ghost Writer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #author, #ghostwriter, #autobiography, #ghost, #fingers, #clothes, #keyboard, #business

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dogbert: you should hire a ghostwriter to write your autobiography. dilbert: that's dumb. a ghost's fingers would go right through the keyboard. dogbert: then how do their clothes stay on? dilbert: fair point.

Smells Like A Trap

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Smells Like A Trap  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #disagreement, #change, #data, #reason, #trap, #insomnia

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dilbert: yesterday someone disagreed with me, and i changed his mind using data and reason. wally: that isn't possible. dilbert: i didn't think so either, but it happened. wally: smells like a trap. dilbert: i couldn't sleep all night.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Make Or Break Project

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Make Or Break Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #career, #performance, #budget

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boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.

Captcha

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Captcha  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #application, #app, #robot, #ability, #evidence, #explaination, #moron, #sense

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boss: gaaa! why can't i ever type the captcha letters correctly to get into this app? dilbert: your inability to prove you are not a robot is strong evidence that you are, in fact, a robot. boss: yes, that makes sense. dilbert: the other explanation is that you are a moron, and you know that isn't true, so...

Alice Compliments Ted

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Alice Compliments Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #project, #job, #great, #dread, #foreboding, #generous, #trap, #lull, #sabotage, #career, #monster

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alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.

Fired For Social Media

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Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #business, #technology, #employment, #fire, #offensive, #bad, #people, #twitter, #issues, #context, #sides, #associate, #monsters

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boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.

Loud Using Zoom

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Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #mortgage, #loud, #noise, #calls, #war, #blackmail, #surprise, #laptop, #imagine

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dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Talking During Zoom Call

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Talking During Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #background, #business, #call, #competition, #stop, #technology, #video conference call, #zoom, #video call

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Dilbert yelling: dogbert! can you keep down the noise while i'm on zoom! dogbert standing on chair: i'm on a zoom call too. your call isn't more important than mine! dilbert speaking to his laptop: sorry, i can't stop the background noise. dogbert yelling from another room: can you keep it down in there? i'm on a zoom call.