Sounds Good Comic Strips - Page 79

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"I worry that all of my wisdom is derived from bad analogies." "Ratbert, sometimes a good wine has to age before it is perfect." "So...I'll get smarter over time?" "To the extent that you are like a grape."

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I just saw Mort in his cubicle. I think he's...dead. "I noticed that yesterday." "And you didn't say anything???! Were you thinking he's just as dead tomorrow and someone else can do the paperwork?" "Wait. That's pretty good thinking..." "I was proud of it."

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Flashback: Indian Institute of Technology. "Your telekinesis grades are very good, young Asok." "Always remember that you may not use your powers in front of the ungifted." Present Day "What the...? I just blinked and the last doughnut disappeared!"

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"Wally, if I give you an assignment, what are the odds that you will actually do it right?" "If I put my mind to a task, I do it well." "Will you put your mind to it?" "Wow. Good follow-up question."

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Tags #death & dying, #insurance, #luck, #sales, #life insurance

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Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: You're making a good decision. Man: Gaaak!

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"We don't pay enough to attract qualified employees." "No problem. I'll hire unqualified people with good attitudes and train them." "Dilbert, when you get a second, train this guy." "Yay!"

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"Why don't you answer my e-mails? Do I need to complain to your boss?" "Your messages have too many topics and no paragraph breaks. They are a violation of all that is good and right about e-mail." snork "'Blah, blah, blah, Dilbert is rude...' Geez, I can't even read this mess." click delete

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"Ted, I need you to work late every night until we catch up." "You'll also need to work every weekend." "What about my family?" "They had a good run."

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"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

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Tags #barbecue, #freinds, #no freinds, #make freinds, #jogger, #desparte, #meat, #social skills, #no social skills, #random, #Advice

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Dilbert: Maybe I should invite some friends over for a barbecue. Dogbert: "You don't have any friends." Dilbert: "Good point. Maybe I should make some friends first." Dogbert: "Exactly." Dogbert:"Do you like meat?"