Service Business Comic Strips - Page 79
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1000 Results for Service Business
View 781 - 790 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 11,
2010
Tags meeting, change, communicate, clear, moron, mock, tease, fuh, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "A successful transformation requires employees to feel ownership for the change." Alice says, "Change? What change?" Dilbert says, "Is there something we don't know?" The Boss says, "It's important that everyone has clear roles and responsibilities." Alice says, "What are you trying to tell us? Should we stop working on our projects?" The Boss says, "I'll keep you engaged and energized with my clear communication." The Boss says, "And as your leader, I will role-model the desired change." Alice says, "If he's our role model, I guess we need to act like morons who can't communicate." The Boss thinks, "I need new people." FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH
Monday July 12,
2010
Tags job interview, sales, travel, business, idiot, angry
Transcript
The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."
Tuesday July 13,
2010
Tags car rental, reserve, car insurance, overpriced gas, honest, clown car, ashtray
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I reserved a mid-sized sedan." Man says, "We don?t care what you reserved. We're in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." Dilbert says, "That's refreshingly honest." Man says, "I can get you into a clown car or an ashtray on wheels."
Saturday July 17,
2010
Tags meeting, customer, wear jacket, lazy, optimism, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."
Wednesday July 21,
2010
Tags wide eyes, merger, hope, status, upgrade, nonexistent, unimportant, job, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."
Wednesday July 28,
2010
Tags statue of liberty, destroy, pr, responsibility, clean up, new york harbor, light show, weapon demo, consultant, cuba, air force, sink, yell, angry, private jet, head, business
Transcript
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"
Tuesday August 03,
2010
Tags empire consultant, crown, king, employees, undproductive, ineffecient, brow, windshield, business
Transcript
Dogbert the empire consultant Dogbert says, "Make your employees less productive. That way your CEO will let you hire more of them." Dogbert sys, "Inefficiency is the same thing as leadership. A king needs an entire country just to wipe his?" The Boss says, "Brow?" Dogbert says, "I was going to say windshield." The Boss says, "Brow is catchier."
Friday August 06,
2010
Tags meeting, introduce, ellen, useless, annoyed, waste, protein, network, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "?And this is Ellen. She has no legitimate reason for attending this meeting." Dilbert says, "I assume she's just nosey, or maybe it's a newworking sort of thing." Dilbert says, "And this guy is a total waste of protein." Ellen says, "Maybe next time we should introduce ourselves."
Saturday August 07,
2010
Tags presentation, meeting, the end, apathy, hate, questions, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "That's my plan. I'd like to thank all of you for your utter apathy." Dilbert says, "A few of your stayed awake, and I think I got some accidental eye contact once when the A.C. made a noise." Dilbert says, "In conclusion, I hate my job, I hate my coworkers, and I hope feral cats eat every one of you." Coworker says, "Are you taking questions?"
Friday August 13,
2010
Tags meeting, suicide, face front, web only, company, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You're a third-rate company in a dying industry." Dogbert says, "I recommend consultant-assisted corporate suicide." The Boss says, "Will it hurt?" Dogbert says, "It might sting a little when you announce your'e going to be a web-only company."


