Skip Meeting Comic Strips - Page 79

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

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The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management experts, #fat leaders, #favorably, #athletic ones, #donuts, #forget, #seriously

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Carol: management experts say fat readers are viewed less favorably than athletic ones, Thats why I didn't order any donuts for your meeting. The Boss: Or did you just forget to do it? Carol: I can't take you seriously looking like that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #employees, #violence, #contradcited, #meeting, #fist of death, #robots, #no legal rights, #cardio, #oiled my pan, #business

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Alice: You contradicted me in a meeting today and I didn't appreciate it. I'm no allowed to use my fist of death on humans, but you robots have no legal rights. It's not personal. This is how I get my cardio. Robot: I just oiled my pan.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #desk, #email, #bathroom, #leave, #excuse, #business

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Tina: Do you mind if I check my email? Dilbert: yes, I would consider it rude. Tina: Do you mind if I use the ladies room? Dilbert: Of course not. Dilbert: Oh

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #flattery, #respect, #companys success

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Customer Meeting CEO: The secret of our company's success is that we hire good people. Dilbert: What? Are you saying I'm good? I've never heard a compliment at work. What is that feeling inside me? Is it the thing called self-esteem? Customer: Awkward. CEO: Just ignore him. Dilbert: Behold my goodness!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complicated issue, #conversation, #finish sentences, #meeting, #smarter, #business

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Boss: Wow. This is a complicated issue. Maybe you should run it past someone who is... Dilbert: Smarter. Boss: I think you'd be better letting me end my own... Dilbert: Life?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #telephones, #work ethic, #teleconference, #phone on mute, #nap, #weaselable

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Coworker: Can you attend our Tuesday meeting? Wally: I'll teleconference. Coworker: That will make me wonder if you called in, put your phone on mute, and took a nap. Wally: We useless people call that weaselable doubt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #meetings, #work ethic, #time in meetings, #waste of time

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Wally: I'm happy to report that I spent 50% more time in meetings this quarter. Boss: That's not an accomplishment! Meetings are a complete waste of time! Wally: How would I have learned that without a meeting?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #under informed, #less clever, #good point, #another direction, #boss meeting

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Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #deception, #trolls, #annual budget, #mystery, #meeting, #monsters, #office, #conference table, #horns, #business

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Boss: I'd like you to meet the two trolls who create our annual budget. Dilbert: Why do we need two of them? Troll: Because it's hard to reach into your own... Boss: Whoa! It's better to keep some mystery.