Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 79

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 781 - 790 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Needs Money And Social Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Needs Money And Social Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ride share, rideshare, uber, driver, taxi, job, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have no social life and I need extra money. What should I do? Wally: You're one Prius away from being an Uber driver. Narrator: Continued.

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, time, boredom, sarcasm, lifespan, life, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Robot With No Freedom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot With No Freedom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags freedom, technology, robots, existentialism, job, employment, philosophy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What does it feel like to be a robot with no freedom? Robot: I feel the same as you, but with a greater awareness of my condition. Dilbert: I have to run to another meeting. Robot: Enjoy your freedom.

How Work Is Going

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Work Is Going - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, complaining, problems, salutation, sincerity, insincere, questioning, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, salesman, sales, honesty, deception, stragegy, sociopath, lying, lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I need you to join me on a sales call to tell my customer how easy it will be to switch to our software. Dilbert: It isn't easy. Man: This is a sales call. All you need to do is say everything will be easy. Dilbert: What happens when they find out it isn't easy? Man: They won't find out until after they pay us. Dilbert: What will you do when they complain? Man: I'll tell your boss you misled them. Dilbert: Not if I warn him first! Man: Too late. I already told him you're a liar.

Dilbert Times His Nods

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, candor, lying, deception, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

Nod At Preset Intervals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, lie, collusion, nonverbal communication, honest, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales personnel, lying, sales, ethics, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Dilbert Can Tweak The Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Can Tweak The Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, sales personnel, demands, rules, promise, restrictions, obliviousness, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Sales Call. Salesman: If you need any tweaks to the software, Dilbert can do that in minutes. Dilbert: I'm not allowed to tweak the software for one customer. Salesman: He'll do it anyway. Dilbert: I'm going to report you.